18 Aug 2010

Hestia's Sonshine goes back to school

After 6 weeks of lying about in front of the Wii and other assorted things that make your eyes go square and your brains turn to custard, Sonshine has returned to school.

Predictably anxious about it last night, I soothed him as best I could by reminding him that his favourite teacher to date was the one he was most apprehensive about.  Everything would be fine, I assured him, as I pulled the duvet up around his chin and kissed him on the forehead.

Cut to today.  He came home from school and threw his bag down in the hall and sprawled on the stairs, his arms over his face.  Not a good sign.

'How'd it go?' I asked.
'A bit rubbish, mum'
'What happened?'
'Mrs Terrifying has sat me next to Bloody Annoyance of a Child* ........and I got a YELLOW card.'
He sighed and sat up, rubbing his eyes. Oh God, were those TEARS?

Now, Sonshine isn't an angel, but he's not a problem at school either.  He's never had a card of any colour issued against him and this was not a great start to a year with a new teacher who is well-known for being 'shouty'.

'What happened? Will you tell me?'
'Well BAC was hassling me all the time, asking me questions and so I answered one.  I said yes.'
'Right.  And?'
'Well, Mrs T said Are You Talking? and I said yes.  And I got a yellow card for telling her the truth.'

Tertarus, who had been listening in the doorway while we had this exchange chipped in.  'Next time he speaks to you in the class, just tell him to button his lip.'

Ah - not helpful.

BAC is not a child that you can speak to like that.  To tell him to stop doing anything is to invite a school-lifetime of kickings behind the bikeshed.  This is not a child from a deprived background - quite the opposite.  He is cosseted and indulged by adoring parents who can see no wrong in their handsome son.  This has resulted in a devious, scheming little bugger who is just the sort of kid who will end up hammered to death by a Cuisinaire rod wielded by a teacher who has snapped at his intolerable behaviour.

I suggest something a little less confrontational.

'Let's make a card that you can put on your desk.  It will read 'I hear you, and I'll tell you later.' and all you'll need to do is point to it.  Don't talk.  Don't get yourself into trouble with Mrs T.'

Sonshine sighs and looks at me as if *I'm* someone who simply does not understand 'The Ways of the BAC'.

'He'll KILL me, if I do that,' he says dejectectly.

'I think we should try it.' I say, motioning to Tertarus to step outside.

'What'll we DO?' I hissed quietly to him in the kitchen, well away from Sonshine's batlike ears.

'Do your card.'

'And? If it doesn't work?'

Tertarus shrugged.  'I don't know. Something more.........decisive.'


He shrugged again. 'You're the one with the brains.  You'll think of something.'

So here is the something that I've thought of, I'll ask YOU.  What should I do if BAC continues to disrupt things.

*Not of course, their real names.  BAC's real name is 'Utter C*nt of a Child'


  1. Poison the little twat, or better still, poison them both. Failing that, tell your son just to ignore him. and pretend he doesn't exist. This will drive him batty. Maybe the teacher will then deal with him, which is, after all, her responsibility.

  2. I think I would play it down, if you can. Watch what unfolds, things often have a way of sorting themselves out.
    If it continues then I would probably try and see if you can get him moved... Are there many in the class?
    We had the problem a couple of times and each time it has sorted itself out xx
    Horrible though to see your child distressed

  3. I asked my better half, and he agrees with "legend" - sending BAC to Coventry could be a powerful weapon. Might drive BAC over the edge so someone in authority will take notice, or just make him give up (though that could take time) :-)

    Good luck, and keep us posted.

  4. I'd be up that school telling the f@@king teacher she shouldn't have given the yellow card for your son telling the truth, stupid bitch.

  5. Firstly I'd be having Words with the teacher - I would not have my kid officially punished for telling the truth. Then I'd be saying that I'd appreciate it if she would keep a special eye on BAC, hadn't she been warned by the events of last year ? NB do NOT specify the events, just leave it at that.

  6. There is a scheming little shit (SLS as us teachers call it) in every class Ali.

    speak to the teacher - the kid may not stop, but at least the teacher will then know it's not Sonshine's fault. Also, she shouldn't be carding him if he tells the truth. the rule is that right or wrong, you never corner a child, and that's what she did.

    Is Sonshine friends with SLS, or is he just annoying him?

    (He looks very smart in his uniform!)

  7. Hello Alison!
    thank you for the lovely comment!
    I must say I was quite please to see your name in my blog today! I spent most of my morning reading about your adventures and special moments!
    I found your blog through Fashion's Most Wanted and I must say your writing is exquisite and absolutely wonderful. Once I start reading I cannot stop until I'm through!

    Looking forward to keep on reading you!


  8. Ali -

    I have to agree with the person that suggested going in and talking to the teacher. To me it seems that some boundaries need to be set there.


  9. I would have a quiet and *friendly* word with teacher and explain what really happened. But... do not alienate Teach as they have been known to take it out on your offspring.

  10. Dear all - just a quick update on Day II of school. Sonshine is home again with some kind of 'verbal warning' for talking in class.

    I'm going to give it until next Friday to see if things settle down. I think that the teacher is trying to show the disruptive elements in this new larger class that she has control over them. There are a few v disruptive kids in the class now.

    Next week I'll have a friendly word to see whether Sonshine's versions of events has any bearing at all on the facts.

    After all, this is the child who told his friends that his grandfather was buried in our garden - in the same mass grave as our house-mice....

    Ali x


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