14 Jul 2011

Hestia's bad day....Tartarus's worse one

Yes, I know that I have been woefully slow at getting the hilarity that was our Isle of Man holiday up here on the blog, but I haz an excuse.....

.....the first one being that Tartarus, whose brain cells are obviously being raddled by too much motorbike racing on the telly and mugs of strong tea, didn't realise that his seaman's ticket expires when he is out in Mexico working next month.  This presents a MASSIVE headache for his company.

When did he notice this was a problem? The day before we left to go on holidays.

Oh my, he was a barrel of laughs for about four days!


Cue:  Mad and frantic phone calls to his office, to the MCA and to his ship - where his long-suffering back to back colleague agreed to do another few days if the ticket failed to come through before his due departure date.

Departure date was supposed to be Tuesday, but no ticket had arrived and thus we were graced with his snappy and anxious presence for another few days.

Then yesterday it was suddenly ALL GO.

Yesterday afternoon his flight details came through and he left on the 8am ferry this morning.

Unfortunately, he phoned me at 8pm this evening from Amsterdam.  Reader, let me assure you that he should have been winging his way over the Atlantic with his little knuckles wrapped around a lukewarm beer by that point.

His flight had arrived late and Amsterdam Airport had been in the grip of some torrential rain...and loads and loads of flights had failed to leave the tarmac.  Reader, he queued for four and a half hours at the KLM desk to try to get onto the flight to JFK, but by the time he got to the front of the queue to try to get himself on it, the JFK plane had been airborne for 2 hours.

His mood was not good.  There was absolutely no-one else at KLM to speak to about getting to work.  No more flights to the US today.  Where could he get a hotel?

The KLM lady pointed him to another queue in which he waited another 2 hours for hotel details.  Eventually he gave up and went out and booked The Hilton.  And from there he phoned me - sounding weary beyond his years.  He doesn't even fancy going out and bringing a prostitute back to take his mind off things.

My day has not gone much better.

I am in the final stages of preparing for the annual Tarot Conference that TABI runs.  And while it is a lot of work and a fair bit of worry, this year I have refused to get stressed about anything....and am determined just to enjoy it. And it was all going rather well.

Until today.

Late this afternoon, one of my keynote speakers frantically emailed me to say that they were double-booked and that the other event couldn't be changed!  My guts literally turned to iced water.

Still, I have managed to juggle around the other speakers to ensure that this speaker CAN still provide their workshop.  But I've also had to notify the attendees who were coming along for just the day.  Will they still want to come with the shuffled itinerary?  I don't know.  I hope so *shrug*.  It's still going to be EPIC.  I'm still trying to hang on to not being stressed!

Part of the Saturday night's entertainment is me interviewing one of my Tarot artist heros live In The Building (after exchanging e-mails for a couple of years) plus interviewing another Tarot author live via skype from his home in San Fransisco.  Not only will the technology and I be at loggerheads, but he's a well-known actor and I suspect I might do the 'Lauren Bacall Thing' again with both of artist and author.

The 'Lauren Bacall Thing' was when this supremely elegant actress was doing a book signing in Glasgow and I had stored up some probing questions to ask her about her career ......only to turn into a manically grinning arsehole when I got to stand in front of her.  Instead of some cutting edge questions, I just managed to  mumble 'I think you're great,' before shuffling off.  Presumably to my padded cell.

Piers Morgan I am not.

I am now off to lie down in a darkened room.  Things could be worse - I could be trying to get to Mexico.


  1. Poor old Tartarus,
    imagine being stuck in Amsterdam, with nothing to do but visit gin shops, pot cafes and ladies of negotiable virtue.
    Poor old thing.

    As regards the Tarot thing.
    Pardon me for being a tired cynical old grouch, but doesn't being an expert in Tarot help you predict the future?
    Couldn't the idiot SEE he was going to be double booked?
    Guess he should fall back onto the old-fashioned technique of USING A DIARY.

    BTW, what happened to the dog show?

  2. Well, I think Lauren Bacall is in a whole other league! Talk about a Goddess. So, I'm sure you'll be fine with these lesser luminaries, especially as you'll be able to consult notes, and you'll have more than thirty seconds to ask your questions :)

    Sorry to hear about the stresses, but as you say, it'll still be EPIC ;D

    As for Tartarus, that man may be good at taking out the rubbish, but his organisational skills are another matter! And if you're flying all over the world, you should be used to delays and stop-overs...

  3. Poor Tartarus - so exhausting and boring doing all that queuing. Has he watched that George Clooney film where he has to get planes everywhere? I'm told it has some great tips for frequent fliers!

    Good luck with your conference and I hope it all goes well. And Lauren Bacall... wow I'd be starstruck too! xxx

  4. Oh Ali ... why is when something goes wrong it all goes wrong... I am actually more worried about your Tabi thing as well Tetatrus is just uncomfortable.. I hope you get sorted xx

  5. I'd forget about Tartarus,he's old enough to sort himself out.Isn't he?
    hope everything goes well forthe conference!

  6. Glad you explained what "the Lauren Bacall thing" was - the only thing I could think it could be was "put your lips together and blow". Which would maybe not have been the thing an interviewer would be wanting to do...

    Yes, just go with the flow with the conference... at least you've staved off any nonplussed participants by telling them of the rearrangements. It will be wonderful...

    And poor Tartarus - 6.5 hours in queues. Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh. You'd better make sure that kitchen bin is properly clean for when he gets back. Not that his epic delay is in ANY shape or form karma for the disappearance he pulled on you on his way back last time ;) x

  7. Poor Tertarus - I hope he made it to Mexico in the end and that the conference runs smoothly.

  8. Poor Tartarus...oh well...he'll manage :)

    Chill about the TABI Conference, you do a great job and you're among friends...all will be well.

    The interviews will go great...celebs are just real people...treat em like drinking buddies and it'll be fine.
    And if you end up a slobbering wreck Im sure someone else will jump in and you can blame it on stress ;)

    s xx

  9. oops and aaagh ....you didn't see that coming then!! xx

  10. YaH - nope, I did not!

    Sage - yep, as long as the technology goes according to plan, it'll be fine. I'm sure that both of them will be able to chat away without much prompting from m'self in Parky Mode

    Siobhan - think he's caught a flight ok yesterday, so should be heading to Mexico even as we speak.

    Trashsparkle - Conference will be fine, it always is - I just can't seem to stop fretting about it. I'm the same every year!

    NS - thank you! I will be taking my trusty laptop with me!

    Wildernesschic - Conference seems to be sorted out now, so hopefully no more surprises lie ahead at this late stage!

    Mrs E - not seen that film, but might get it out for him to watch when he's next home. Anything with George in it is fine by me!

    Innerwhispers - you are so right, everything will be fine and I'm very much looking forward to catching up with you again. And Antonia!!!

    TSB - yes, he has really suffered ;-) Re the Dog Show - it's mid August. Still got that joy ahead of me. Should be good, the judge has never judged before and I've never filled in the forms.

  11. Ali, you're brilliant. I hope the interview went wonderfully. Love you xx


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