2 Mar 2011

Hestia's..... got gallstones. Yippee.

Hestia and her gallstone
Yep, it's official, the doctor gave me a telephone consultation yesterday and confirmed what I'd suspected as I stood leaning over the bathroom sink for five hours begging God to let me LIVE; I've got gallstones.

A couple of real beauties by the sounds of things.

Now I get to meet a surgeon and discuss the ins and outs - mainly outs - of gall bladder removal.

I had been hoping to hang on to the offending organ and just get the stones zapped, but they're not always good candidates for zapping.

I told The Boss: 'The zapping turns them into gravel and you just pee them out.'

His eyes widened and he reminded me of the size of the chuckies in the gravel that we endure instead of salt when there is ice on the ground in this part of the world. 'Gravel,' he reminded me, 'could be a stone about 1 cm in diameter.  Gravel, is not the same as sand.'

Peeing out something the size of a grain of sand is one thing, but don't really fancy peeing out something the size of a baby's head, so was quite relieved when the doc said that my stones weren't good candidates for the zapping.

I then had to phone my mum, Juno, to let her know.  Her relief was palpable.  She quizzed me on what the doc said, what I said....and in the silences between words, the unspoken conversation between us was of my dad dying from pancreatic cancer.  The doctors had thought it was a stone, then it was diagnosed as a tumour.  Goodnight Vienna.

So, I've been a TINY bit scared that the results might not be straightforward.  I've been a bit carnaptious recently, so that's why the last couple of blog posts were written on Saturday and scheduled to post during this week.

But *claps hands together and cheers up* it's all perfectly alright - I've just got a couple of large stones.  Huzzah!

I decided to celebrate last night with a splendid beef olive (don't they look like unfortunate willies?) with mashed potatoes, a glass of rose wine and....a CHOCOLATE biscuit.  Heavenly.

The Boss pondered whether I could get my gallstones made into clackers ( a popular pastime in the 1970s).  I rather think I might get them set into the hilt of a skean dhu...... waste not want not, right?

The best thing to do with gall stones, or an errant husband's nadgers


  1. Sounds a bit odd to say I'm glad it's gall stones but given what you were worried about, I hope you know what I mean.

    Oh, and what a lovely word carnaptious is! *adds to vocabulary immediately*

  2. I must go over to my Dad's and retrieve my clackers! God, that takes me back.
    I'm so relieved for you, Ali! It's not great but it's a huge weight off of you and your Mum's shoulders.
    My Mum died from PC, it's awful. xxx

  3. Dear Ali, oh I'm so glad it's not as bad as you thought. You're probably better of getting it taken out, at least you know it'll never happen again.

    Carnaptious is a brilliant word! I must try and use it!

    Much love, C xx

    PS. Off to look up what a beef olive is!

  4. Beef Olives: LOL. Never thought of them in that light before.

    Glad I never thought of them in that light before.

    Clackers might be a bit too violent for the poor gallstones, they might well disintigrate under the stress. They'd make good marbles though, or even get them threaded for a unique necklace. Waht a conversation stopper. "Have you seen the gallstones around my neck?"

  5. I am wincing in pain at the very thought.....you are brave indeed.........and what a relief. Good luck with the cure.......you could spray them gold, dip them in glitter and create decorations for the festive season??

  6. Maybe you could turn them into earrings or a necklace (depending on how many you have)? I've never heard of beef olive or carnaptious - your blog truly is an education!

  7. Glad you're ok.
    I remember clackers and nadgers is such a great word isnt it?

  8. Oh you poor bitch, I'd be shitting myself, I am scared of everything and have never had an op, touch wood. Well had the last baby cut out the sun roof but that doesn't count because I was awake!
    I got an appointment through for a mammogram today. I rang the hospital and said, "you are 4 yrs too early love, the letter says 50 years olds so think your computer is fucked" to which she replied "no madam, we are now inviting women from 46". Fucking great I am so pissed off, just another thing to make me feel old. I then told her that I suffer from dreadful breast pain, have done since I was 30 and that if I can't let my old man touch my left one how can I possibly have it crunched between two metal plates?. She then said it was up to me whether I go or not but the Doc, knowing I can't do self examination because am too scared, had a good old feel up of em back in September so surely I am still OK eh?
    Getting old is shit isn't it?

  9. Dear Alison, sorry to hear about the gallstones but glad it's been diagnosed and is not the C word. I remember clackers - I think they got banned as kids kept whacking themselves in the face - or was that just me? Anyway, bon courage xx

  10. Beef olives ? I *love* beef olives. So much more classy than lasagne .,.. ;-D

  11. The Old Girl had the same some years back. Recurrent discomfort and a 2AM dash to the hospital when she was literally white (even for a Scottish born person) with pain. They removed her gall bladder with laparoscopic surgery. No long stay in hospital, no scarring ad all very easy (says I).

  12. Hi Alx, I forgot to mention that I'm glad to hear it's not anything more serious. Not that I'm diminishing the fright it must have given you. My beloved had her's removed by a keyhole surgery. She wasn't in a lot of pain, but she had sandy stones, and was showing a lot of the fat-related symptoms.
    She's been fine for over 20 years now.

    BTW If you've gallstones, DONT follow any of the Mince recipes on my blog (Fat's too high). Try one of the corn fritters in the post tomorrow.

    Take care.


  13. Mmm, beef olives. Love them, particularly with buckwheat and a bit of beetroot.
    Glad you provided the link for carnaptious, I had visions of you falling asleep at the wheel of the Mini :D
    Good luck with the stones!

  14. Hi Ali, oh what a huge relief all round. My Aunt had her whopping gallstones removed, when she was in recovery the surgeon proudly brought her a sample bottle with the beauties inside, he thought she might like to keep them as a souvenir, she told him to take them away, as she was not interested unless they were diamonds. Clackers sound like a marvellous idea but be careful of your wrists!

  15. Dash - I like where your Aunt is coming from.....

    Ania - where do you put the buckwheat?

    TSB - I have bought a recipe book about mince. It's quite tongue in cheek, but got some good recipes!

    Curmugeon - thank you for swinging by m'blog! If I go any whiter I'll be blue ;-)

    Viv - my full-fat lasagne is now only a special treat *sob*

    Blighty - you're right, clackers were probably outlawed after countless weans had teeth knocked out!

    Mrs Fab - you know I'm going to tell you to go along and get your boobs flattened. Hugely uncomfortable I'd imagine, but worth it in the long run. See if you can get some kind of industrial pain-killer from your doc beforehand?

    NS - We Scots are full of good words. A favourite one being 'shilpit' http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/shilpit

    mrs TNMA and YaH - Jewellery, that's possible. Earrings. That's do-able as I have got two apparently. Or perhaps an outrageous cocktail ring?

    TSB - you will never eat a beef olive again without thinking 'oh my God - yes, strange little willies!'

    Christina - a beef olive is very tasty indeed. But they do look like willies. Honestly.

    Vix - I just *knew* you'd have clackers!

    Alex - plenty more vocabulary where that came from.

    Thanks for all the kind words, you lovely people. I feel much more relaxed about the whole thing now. Two days in hospital? Will I be allowed my laptop????


  16. I think with all that going on mentally and physically, you have every right to be carnaptious! Great word :-)

    Glad to hear it's "just" gallstones, and good luck with the op. I'm sure you'll manage to find the humour in it, too.

  17. Hi Ali,
    Get a pea shooter and the next time Tertarus forgets valentine day, you can just pop him one.
    Glad you are Ok though.

  18. Well that's a relief, let's hope you can get them sorted quickly so you don't have any more painful episodes. Beef olives - love the idea but they do look as you say a bit anatomic in a grey sort of way and I am going to be carnaptious all day unless I get a job offer (long story and reason for no posts). Have a pain-free weekend x

  19. Dear Ali
    I am so sorry to hear about your father.. there its spoken xx
    I am however pleased that you have a diagnosis and have had two friends both had their gall bladders out and have never looked back .. I hope this is the case with you xx

  20. I am relieved to hear that you found out what was causing the severe pain. I once had kidney stones, but never gall stones. It was not fun.

    Love you lots. Keep us posted.


  21. Alison you poor thing! I do a regular clear out to keep gallstones at bay. You can do it still even when they are quite bad. They break down really easily. The book to get is Can we live to 150 years?

    Or go to this website http://www.sensiblehealth.com/

    It is worth a go - surgery is brutal!


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