6 Jul 2012

Hestia wonders.....how hard can knitting be

How difficult?  I'll TELL YOU HOW DIFFICULT!!!

I have neglected you dear reader *

I feel as if I have been knitting for hours.  No - DAYS!  I feel as if I've been knitting for DAYS and this is because I actually HAVE been knitting for days.

But I have only a measily 10 cm of ribbing to show for it.  But I have actually knitted enough to comfortably pave the road between here and the Pyramids.  And back.

Y'see, I've got a wedding in August and I thought that it would be a good idea to knit myself a little shrug to go with the lovely dress that I treated myself to last weekend.

The wool yarn was duly purchased and it arrived very promptly.  My Evil Twins had procured me a couple of patterns and I picked the easiest looking one *hollow laugh*

I began knitting on Thursday and all was going well on the 10 cm of ribbing until the increase row.  Which I made a complete arse of (holes!) and so I ripped back to the beginning.

I got to the same point again and then discovered that I had the wrong number of stitches on my needles.  I ripped back to the beginning.

I got to the pattern, and then discovered that MY version of plain and purl stitches is not like the REAL version.  I have discovered that I cannot knit.  More youtube.  More ripping back to the start, more very careful knitting and the odd choked cry.....

I manage to get to the pattern, but it so utterly bamboozled me (wtf is yrn?!) and despite numerous excellent youtube videos, I could see that my pattern looked bugger all like the pattern I was supposed to be knitting.

I ripped everything out again.

By lunchtime, I was getting to the weepy stage as I approached the end of the ribbing stage for the MILLIONTH time with mounting dread.  My patient Day-Carer who is an excellent knitter came for coffee and worked out the pattern on different needles and showed me what to do.  I became excited at the prospect of the pattern..... I put it aside until the evening.

I have not only learned that I cannot knit properly, but I have also learned that I cannot knit and watch Dynamo the Magician on the TV.  I had to rip back THREE rows TWICE because I became engrossed in his amazing magic tricks.  My temper is now shorter than Cheryl Cole's frocks.

Ripping back a few rows might sound like nothing, but my yarn is made up of a million miniscule fibres and picking up the stitches has been a fucking headache.  Literally.  Pardon my French.

I put the knitting aside and decided to wait until today to try the increase row and The Pattern.

At 9am I carefully got through my increase row this morning and looked over the youtube videos mid morning to make sure that I was winding my wool the right way and all that jazz....

And I've made a total farking ARSE of it every time I've gone near it.   My head is spinning.  I have sore bits on the tips of my fingers.  My yarn is fraying.  As are my nerves.

Even when I recite the actual pattern 'knit three, yarn forward, slip one, knit one, slip that early one off, then knit two,' it has still turned out wrong.  Much ripping out has taken and I have JUST discovered after my most recent attempt to finish my ribbing, that I have been using a fucking size 3 1/4 needle in one hand and the FOUR in the other when trying to bring my ribbing back up to the ominous increase row.


I will try again later, but in the meantime....... *turns face to wall, rocks back and forward and chatters softly to herself*

btw - here's a link to the goddamned pattern if you are interested in seeing how RUBBISH I am at this knitting thing.

* And to top a PERFECT day, now my formatting has gone to hell.....


  1. tried years ago when i inherited my moms knitting stuff - NIGHTMARE

  2. You can do it. And if in doubt, next time try bigger yarn and bigger needles - it makes for a much for satisfactory experience as it knits up quicker.

    I have a blanket I need to finish but I need to buy yarn and get my knitting mojo back. Neither seem to be something I am likely to do soon.

  3. I did suggest a pattern that used 6.5mm needles

  4. Could I suggest just buying a bloody top from Marks and Spencers?

    BTW, all of your comments on your last post seem to ave been changed as if they were coming from Pixl (http://www.blogger.com/profile/08978390775267454319)
    Has your account been hacked? or is Blogger playing funny buggers again?

  5. Blimey. Your sister's fit.

  6. i'm with t.s.b. or go to etsy. nothing's worth that much mental anguish, and i should know, because i give up very easily and have a shiny healthy mind as a result (ahem).

  7. Ali, i think knitting is the ultimate meditative practice! Now that i read your post - and it's so greatly written - i also want to give it another try! I've never learned to knit properly, but i'd really love to! Maybe it's THE way to work on my patience lol! Lena

  8. I love knitting, but then I haven't yet tried to follow anyone else's pattern, sticking to simple stuff. It makes me think of this book, Finding Flow (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Finding-Flow-Psychology-Engagement-MasterMinds/dp/0465024114/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341642112&sr=8-1). It talks about how to live a happy, stimulating life, and it includes challenging yourself, but not so much as to drive yourself crazy! So, maybe you need to ask Ania for the other pattern, and leave this one for next year...

  9. Size 4 needles are tiny! No wonder it is hard! The pattern might be easy-ish, but the method is not!

    Good luck with it, you CAN do it!

  10. yeah...... and that's why I prefer the chunky knit........still what better way to get through another rainy day....good luck!!x

  11. You're mad. Why knit? I don't get knitting. Just like I don't get housework or gardening. :)

  12. Your dogged determination impresses me. Have you ever tried tree-climbing? It's great for the posterior.

  13. Gah I've been knitting for about 20 years and still can't do anything overly complicated, determined to learn tho! Good luck with the shrug, I would have totally given up by now, keep going! :)

  14. I could here your head banging off the wall from here.


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