6 Apr 2011

Hestia...does the silent treatment

Everything was going pretty well until we started the brief drive back from Edinburgh Zoo to Leith docks, where we are currently residing.  Tartarus had forgotten to pack the map and pretty soon we were zooming into Edinburgh city centre - which, if you've been trying to drive in Edinburgh recently is Not Where You Really Want To Be.

'Look - there's a couple of mounted police,' said I pointing at, erm, two mounted police officers.

'I don't need directions,' snapped Tartarus, bumping the car down yet another narrow cobbled lane to no-where.

We drove around aimlessly for a good 10 minutes with Edinburgh Castle variously on my left and right. There were no signs for Leith.  We could be on our way to Berwick Upon Tweed, I thought angrily.  No offence to Berwick Upon Tweed.

As we drove down the Ferry Road for the third time, Tartarus agreed that once the traffic lights had changed, he would pull into the garage over the road and get directions.  The lights changed and Tartarus zoomed past the garage.  I pointed at the garage, mouth gawping noiselessly.

'If we had a sat nav, this would not be happening,' he seethed.

'If you'd put in the bloody map this wouldn't be happening either,' I snapped back.

'What about over here?' I suggested, pointing to an as yet unexplored road.

'Look, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING,' he bellowed.

'See when you're in Hollan with R in June, I hope you're as fucking unpleasant to him as you are to me when you're lost,' I  shouted back.

Sonshine sat quietly in the back of the car.

This was not how I envisaged things in my life.  I decided that since any comment I made was being met with thinly disguised contempt.  OK, not even thinly disguised contempt.  I would just shut up.

I shut up for hours.  Long after we found our way home.  Long after we went out for an early dinner.  I just lost interest in trying to make everything nice.

Reader, I discovered that I couldn't be bothered to drag myself out of it.

And the worse thing? Neither Tartarus nor Sonshine realised that I wasn't even talking.


  1. I hear you. I often get treated like a fu**ing moron, so I too just stop trying. Everyone one else has a valid opinion, apparently, so I keep my head down, my thoughts to myself, and my mouth shut. Probably not the best way to continue.

  2. Ali,
    I am sorry your trip turned out to be a bummer. Men!

    I was in Edinburgh in 1984, and I just loved that city. I would be happy to drive around aimlessly for hours, lost. Laugh.

    I didn't realize you were close to there.

    Love you,


  3. it can be exhausting to always be the one to make everything nice. men sometimes need to be taken out back and shot. then again, occasionally they can be ok, but only occasionally.

    e-hugs and, more importantly, an e-toast to you!

  4. I can only say sorry for all Men. We just don't like asking for help/directions, it's a chief hunter/gatherer sort of thing.
    He's not really (in his mind) putting you down, it's just he's expressing his frustration at not being able to do what he sees as his job. And blokes hate not being able to solve problems. And probably feeling just a tad guilty for forgetting the map.
    Sorry you're having such a bum time.
    *Smiles sheepishly and crosses feet*

  5. Ggggggrrrrrr to Tartarus from me! How many days til he goes back t'work? First thing tomorrow, go buy a calendar, mark out the days and leave it somewhere he'll see it. Then start plotting more of those Very Expensive Purchases to be made once he's out of the way. Oh, and make sure the bottom of the kitchen bin's REALLY filthy next time he comes back ;) xx

  6. Dear Alison

    I often have to resort to the silent treatment for my own mental well-being in cars as Mr LiC is the same - allergic to asking for directions. You really have to augment the silent treatment with the banging open and shut of kitchen cupboards if you want men to notice. Mr LiC also wants me to add that a Nav Sat is not a guarantee of a happy cartrip. Ours kept trying to send us the wrong way down one way streets. Lindaxxx

  7. Ali I would have made you laugh and then you would have had to talk xx
    I am sorry it was a rough trip, if I am honest I seldom leave the house xx

  8. oooh I hate it when no one notices!! You could try not coming home when you say....but then I've tried and failed at that too when he stayed out later than me....husbands eh....can't live with them....cna't kill 'em!!

  9. Have you considered setting fire to his trousers (while he is still wearing them, obviously) If ever a man needed a fire lighting under him, Tartarus is he!

  10. I'm not making excuses for him, but it is a known fact that men never ask for directions under any circumstances, and when women offer helpful suggestions they are always treated with contempt, it's a lose, lose situation. I don't think Sat Nav is the answer, it's just another woman telling him where to go (and often getting it wrong in my experience). Maps are the future (especially if it is true that the satellites are being decommissioned and not replaced x

  11. Ahhh! What a shame!!

    Men never bloody listen. The Actor is always right ESPECIALLY whilst driving when he's on a very short fuse. He often points out when I make a "suggestion" that I don't actually have a driving licence. True.

    Come to London and have some fun! xx

  12. In almost identical circumstances, albeit at t'other end of the country, I went beyond the silent treatment. I went far too far beyond the silent treatment,but boy was it satisfying. Tired of being yelled at like I was, well something only worthy of talking down to, the worm (yes, that is what I felt like) turned. My fist stopped millimetres from his nose. I think I was more shaken than he, although I hope I hid it well.

    And he, dear reader, played nice for the rest of the day.


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