29 Aug 2012

Hestia's wardrobe malfunction

So, it came to pass that we went to the wedding and I told you alllllll about it.

Well, I told you all the NICE bits about it.

What I didn't tell you was that despite me standing in a doorway and looking expectantly at Tartarus for what seemed like 10 minutes, I failed to elicit a 'you look lovely, darling' or anything of that nature.

'I was waiting until you had your shoes on,' he said defensively as I contemplated flinging my antique handbag across the room at him.

OK, fair enough....I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

However AFTER the wedding, when we were relaxing on the sofa - shoes off, ties, off, control pants removed - he raised his bleary eyes towards me and said....

'You were showing a fair bit of tit in that dress.'

Reader, I was so dumbfounded that I could think of nothing sensible to say.  Of course, my thoughts turned immediately to stabbings and wondering how much I could get for selling the Ducati without him being aware of the fact.

The frock came from Kaliko.  A brand not really reknowned for its stripper tendancies.  But let's face it, this is a man who wasn't even interested in my stripper tendancies when I had them.

Of course, the next day he denied saying it QUITE like that and was filled with remorse, apologies and pain killers.

We came home and I uploaded my photo of the three of us to facebook and m'blog.  I complained to some friends about what he had said.

The offending frock

'Hey, don't worry,' said one lovely friend.  'I'm pretty nifty with photoshop.  I've downloaded your photo and can fix it for you.'

And lo!  The photo was fixed.  And my excess tit was removed:


  1. I love it. Everyone should have a friend like that! Sarah xxx

  2. *LOL* Tartarus, open mouth, insert yer foot and bite very hard man!!
    Ali, you poor woman! The second image looks better :D

  3. hehehe FABULOUS! :D xx

    btw....you looked lovely!

  4. Brill! And I think you look really lovely btw! Xxx

  5. hilarious...just what I needed on a very wet wednesday!!x

  6. Can someone please photo-shop my face? Lovely picture BTW xx

  7. Ask her to photoshop a dunce's hat on tartarus. I thought the first one looked perfectly fine.

  8. Took me a moment to twig with the second pic. I was thinking, "But your decolletage still looks equally feminine and decent!" *rolls-eyes*

    Still, I would take it as a compliment, personally - noticing your tempting appendages ;)

  9. Give the guy a break.
    Maybe he didn't say anything earlier because he was mesmerised by the quick flash of a nipple.

    However, I agree, photoshop is the bee's knees.

  10. Ha, that gave me a right laugh! Your remaining tits, albeit fully clothed, look delightful. xxx

  11. LOL. Yes, definitely less tit in the second picture :D

  12. Ali -

    I thought the dress was lovely! And I echo Vivianne - the photoshopping was brilliant!

  13. That's brilliant! But I do like the photo of all of you too!

  14. Ha! I know a good lawyer who could do the same. Without resorting to photoshop.

  15. Hahahaa I know I am blonde.. and I know that I have the nickname of "Satellite Wife"..but I have just spent ten minutes staring at you tits... trying to see the exposure... baffled and then I noticed the disappearance.. of the big tit ..Giggle Fabulous post .. you always make me laugh xx

  16. Ahahahaha!

    You look fab - the dress is beautiful.

  17. So that dress is showing a lot of tit? Bloody hell, come to Lancaster. We'll show you dresses that show off a bit of tit. Anyway, you've got it Hestia--flaunt it!

  18. Merci mes amies! I thought it was a highly entertaining solution!

    Ali x

  19. This made me laugh. A lot. Thank you.


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