24 Aug 2012

Hestia and the importance of grammar

Given that he is an Engineer - and a Scot - I am aware that English is not Tartarus's first language.  Or, indeed, his second.

But it came to pass that he e-mailed me to say that he was bringing home a painting of the ship.  His beloved, elderly ship, now sold to some unsuspecting Mexicans.

We have a Rogues Gallery of all the vessels that he has sailed on.  Verily, a flotilla of ship photographs in plastic frames bobs around the upstairs hall.  As close to the bathroom as I can get them.

He is very proud of his ships.  Another one to the fleet would be no hardship.

He duly arrived home and snapped open the locks on his case, handing me a small oil painting.

I'm no Brian Sewell, but I could tell that there was no trace of a bright orange-hulled ship with a helideck in it.

'I don't get it. You said you were bringing home a painting of the ship?.......'

'No - I said that I was bringing home a painting OFF the ship...' he corrects me.

And that, dearest reader, confirms that wars do, indeed, start over such trivialities as a missplaced comma.

Or in Tartarus's case, that a murder can be committed as a direct result of a missing 'f'.

Picture of a ship

Picture OFF a ship

Have you too, endured the fall-out of sloppy grammar?


  1. Oh dear - this did make me laugh - what a stray f can do!

    I once accidentally triggered a swear filter when talking about a county and received an email that started "Dead Siobhán"

  2. Oh my, so what are you going to do with the delightful painting off the ship? Stick it in the loo itself? Is he deeply attached to it? Could it go in the garage? :D

  3. Tut, tut. It's obvious you weren't listening properly.

    Just a minute...did you use photoshop...are you saying he actually srved on a ship called *coughs nervously in hand, hoping that nobody understands Spanish* "Tosa Palma"?

    Does he have hair on the palms of his hands?

  4. Good, I'm glad even husband and wives can't understand the funny accent up there :)

  5. you know i've run into grammar problems, AND gotten yelled at for caring. gah!

    my mother in law once bought us a painting at a garage sale. she paid 100$ for it for no reason i could ascertain. it was indeed a painting OF a ship, but it was horrifyingly bad (almost as bad as this: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19349921) and we got rid of it as soon as we could. 100$!!! the woman is mad!

    your painting OFF a ship is far prettier, believe you me. and i am certain it'll look fantastic in your gardening shed!

  6. HAHAHAHA, Not quite what you were expecting.

    Not quite the same thing, but during my degree, spellcheck corrected 'child's education' to 'child seduction'. Not ideal as a trainee teacher! Fortunately my lecturer saw the funny side!

    1. He hee... not a great start!

      I have to be careful with my phone because it autocorrects Thur to tits, so you can end up saying to someone "See you tits".

  7. It could be worse. It could be Consuela's portrait on black velvet. I once got the french words for Kiss and Fuck (bise and baise) mixed up. Ohh La La.


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