21 May 2011

Hestia and the Rapture, part II

Well, it's just after 6pm and I'm terribly disappointed to report that The Rapture has not happened. Not on this tiny hell-bound island anyway.

Hang on, what's that noise that sounds like a hundred Welsh Male Voice choirs outside the hou......

*abrupt cessation of typing*

Attention Reader:  Hestia's planned blogpost cannot be with you this evening as she was spirited away to heaven by Me at around 6pm this evening.  She was mightily pissed off at missing Dr Who and the next episode of Game of Thrones, let me tell you.

Signed:  God

PS - she asked me to let you know that Sonshine has been spirited away too, so they're quite happy.  She enquired about someone called Tartarus too, but his name wasn't down so he's not getting in.

Unfortunately, if she carries on in current vein (I suspect it was she who brought the crate of Bacardi Breezers and the vuvuzelas) she'll be back with you on planet earth as quickly as I can beam her back there.

PPS - You will notice that the universe has NOT ended as planned.  I did not fancy Hestia's threat to wax and vajazzel Me if I did.


  1. It certainly felt like the end of the world for me, I had food poisoning earlier!

  2. It didn't even happen down here in NZ.
    What on earth (or anywhere else) is vajazzel?
    And should I be worried?

    And while you're communing with the Big Yin, please ask him why:

    ear wax
    hairy ears
    Bubonic Plague
    Peter Mandelson and Winston Peters

  3. Love it! I'm still here too...we can fight zombie apocalypse together... :)
    I do wish you lived closer. *sigh*

  4. Bwahaha, the thought of a vajazelled God has amused me muchly.

    If George R.R Martin is up there with you, can you please kick his arse into writing the next book in the series? I think that the tv programme has sucked his attention away from it :(

  5. Dear Mythical being who stole Ali,

    Can we have Hestia back please? I am willing to be she misses gin already, and also her chat is better than yours.

    Thank you. X

  6. Haha! Brilliant post! Vajazzling could have been funny though! For us maybe xx

  7. disappointing, eh? stupid fuckwits and their biblical predictions. i trust the mayan calendar much more - at least they didn't think the earth was flat!

    oh, and COME BACK!

  8. but what fabulous timing for iceland's volcano to go up again the next day! didn't the nutty octogenarian predict 5 months of fire?? ;)

  9. Ha ha, at the end of the Channel 4 news the oddbods who were surprised it didn't happen were on, and they ended the programme with the line 'cheer up, it's not the end of the world'.

  10. Ha ha ha! I'm going to get stocked up in vuvuzelas and lurid alcopops in case I get called away suddenly, too.
    Bit freaky about the old Icelandic volcano, though! xxx

  11. Hahahahahahahahahah laughing til I cry - over the Rapture posts, and crying over the little crow - I am besieged by swallows/swifts/housemartins and a champion racing pigeon who thinks I'm her mum. Destined to be the mad bird woman of Bodfari! You are truly back on form though aren't you - well I'll be vajazzled!!


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