11 Jun 2010

Handbag contents

Since I cannot fit another gnat's bollock into my handbag*, I decided to have a clear out of my everyday handbag.  This is what I found:

1 x purse
1 x Oberon organiser
1x nail file
1 x sunglasses (now scratched due to proximity of nail file)
£1.67 in loose change
Mystery envelope containing £37.50

2 x Bill Bailey Tix (mystery of money in envelope solved)

3 lipsticks (2 of which are identical)
1 x concealer (dried up)
1 dessicated leaf (possibly mimosa - from Inverary Castle Gardens - Camping Expedition Weekend)
1 x 9 volt Tesco battery
1 x notepad
2 x pens (neither working)
1 x pencil (broken)
3 x packets of paper hankies (all opened)
2 x sachets of toilet wipes (Inverary is not a civilised place for toilets obviously)
1 x Ferry Timetable
4 x receipts (one for the memorable session with Daniel in Glasgow, two for Co-op and one for postage)
1 x mobile phone (needing charged)
1 x DS charger + assorted games
1x  handful of fluff and bits of dried leaf
1 x sticky polo mint

Standard mummy handbag contents, methinks But no wonder I'm starting to develop a Quasimodo humpf as I lurch up and down The High Street.

With the serendipidy that is the intertubes, I just replied on another forum about something handbag related and thought I'd add it in here.

My dad taught me the words to a folk song called The Dundee Weaver when I was a child and I blithely sang my heart out about the narrator discovering that her 'thingyumygig was awa'.

Honestly, I was in my 30s before the penny dropped and I realised that it wasn't her bloody handbag that had been stolen, but something a bit more intimate. 

I have sung that song from the age of 5.

For those of you who do not know the words to The Dundee Weaver, please look here.  There is an 'English' translation that will make all the Scots reading this absolutely pee their pants with delight.  Enjoy

In the course of looking for an image to go with this useless information, I found that there is a Flickr site dedicated to pictures of handbag contents.  Those girls need to get out more.

The image accompanying this post is of a pursket - if you can't live without one, you can buy one here

So, what's in yours?

* please note, my bag does not contain ANY gnat's bollocks.  It's a figure of speech.


  1. What no plasters, scissors, Rennies, sweetners, reading specs, Tarot cards.....need I go on? I must be worse than I thought. BTW keep that receipt from Daniel - just as a reminder. Great blog post - why can I never think of these things?

    Lori X

  2. My reading specs were actually on top of my head while I was doing the clear out.

    And I couldn't fit a Tarot deck in there - hence the clear out!

    The tears have been blinding me reading the Dick Vaughn lyric site link. Really, take a look at it. Especially the English Doggeral.

    Ali x

  3. 2 x compact mirrors
    1 x umbrella (broken)
    1 x lipstick
    1 x benetint lip gloss and lip tint thingy
    Oyster card
    2 x staff passes (each with a different department on)
    2 x lip balm
    sun screen (factor 30)
    hair brush
    hand sanitiser
    1 pair prescription sunglasses
    1 pair non prescription sunglasses
    chewing gum
    house keys
    work keys
    pass port (as no other photo ID)
    cheque book (as recently paid for work outing by cheque)
    3 packets of tissues (all opened as well)
    3 receipts from the co-op
    A moist lemon scented napkin from ping pong (still in the plastic wrapper and unopened)
    coin purse

    I think I need to empty my hadbag (and my passport only lives there when out for the evening or likely to buy wine. I am short and therefore often mistaken for being under 25 (except at the university where I work - they know what under 25 looks like)

  4. You just need to buy a bigger handbag :-)

  5. Siobhan - do you need wheels for that handbag?!

    Viv - I just need to be better organised and more Hestia-like in real life ;-)

    I may have to resort to *pauses for dramatic effect* a QVC organiser bag......

  6. Oh my, I'm not as Scottish as I should be for a Mc, but I could still tell the "lyrics" were insane. Funniest, though, is that you thought a thingumijig was a handbag :D

    As for my handbag:
    8 x business cards for Inner Whispers
    1 x wallet
    11 x serviettes from restaurants/pubs
    1 x Oyster card
    2 x other people's business cards
    1 x headphones
    5 x plasters
    1 x runic talisman
    1 x mini RWS in black angel bag
    1 x iPhone
    1 x folding hairbrush
    2 x wet wipes in individual wraps
    1 x key
    3 x ID - 2 for me, 1 for my sonshine
    1 x tampon (always there just in case)
    1 pair earrings
    1 x nailfile (not metal and in a plastic case)
    1 x dry-cleaning receipt (to be picked up tomorrow)

    Overall, not too shabby I think. Necessary bits and bobs, and no out-of-date receipts, though I confess there's probably some lint I didn't count :)

  7. That made me laugh especially the thingamijig bit. I had to scroll right down to the literal english translation before I got it!

    Your bag isn't too bad! Mine weighs a ton too. I rummage around in it so much I dislodge everything. I always seem to have a tampon that's escaped it's wrapper, not a good look to pull out in a pile of change... and there's always some broken blusher in the bottom. Lovely! Hope you have a wonderful weekend xx

  8. Chloe - the contents of your handbag are much too sensible! Where is the broken alarm clock? Where is the chewing gum (chewed) wodged into a ripped up paper hankie?

    I've a good mind to make you stand in the corner and face the wall for being too good at this 'tidy' and 'organised' thing.

    I mean....BUSINESS CARDS ....I ask you *rolls eyes

  9. Christina - I know what you mean about escaped sanitary products!

    Given Sonshine's habit of going through my bag looking for loose change, I have to stuff them into jacket pockets so that I don't experience the horror of a Young Ones moment with him....

    Have you see the episode where Vivian finds a tampon and thinks it's a little mouse? Hilarious - but not if it's YOUR little mouse!

    Ali x

  10. Umm, which handbag...? :D

  11. Here is mine from over a year ago but nothing changes it is still full of the same old shit! http://lookingfabinyourforties.blogspot.com/search/label/Louis%20Vuiton
    BTW don't understand why your posts are not coming up in my google reader, I thought you hadn't posted for a while. x

  12. Mrs Fab - LMAO at your contents!

    Love the LV bag 'The Neverfull' lol!

    I'm posting a couple of times a week, sometimes more often if Hestia is particularly inspired/irritated :-)

    Ali xxxx

  13. Dear Ali, of course I remember that Young Ones episode it was my favourite programme as teenager! xx


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