19 Feb 2011

Hestia is...a stylish Blogger apparently

look close - is that snot?
Jeepers - nominated twice!  It's like the Academy Awards (look - you'll just have to believe that I'm sitting here in a gold strapless lame gown, hair ironed and pinned into some kind of submission, mascara running as I weep my thank yous out to Legend and Inner Whispers for their nominations.

By the way, it's not a LAME frock, but I can't figure out how to do French accents on here *stares at keyboard in puzzled manner*

Soooooo seven things that you might not know about me?..... that's a tricky one...I've shared everything from smear tests to escaped hamsters with you so far....hmmmm ok, here goes:

1 - I have impersonated Frank Spencer.  On a Stage.  With an Audience.  OK - so it was the Guide Camp in Lossiemouth back when I was at Primary School, and the two troupes were bored absolutely rigid most evenings....so we decided to make use of the church hall stage where we were dossing down and put on some impromptu shows.  I did a Frank Spencer impression.  With No Script.  And they LOVED it!! Even now I could just pee myself with fear just thinking about how my 12 year-old self had the balls to do that.

2 - If I could have six imaginary lives I would be a ballerina, a veterinary surgeon, a nun, Dita Von Teese, a world-famous author, an explorer.  Look at that - a nun and a stripper.  Like I said, a psychiatrist's dream patient, me.

3 - I spent £60 on two magnolia plants in November and I have not a clue what I've done with them. They may have been stolen, or, more likely, lying in a grey mouldered pile in one of the endless locked sheds we've got.  I do hope that Tertarus still hasn't figured out how to read my blog all the way from Mexico.

4 - I sometimes sneak biscuits from the tin and blame Sonshine.  I do hope that Sonshine hasn't worked out how to read my blog either.

5 - My favourite school dinner was sneaking out to the shop across the road and having a scotch pie in a buttered roll.  And you wonder why I've got gallstones......

6   I have held a tarantula in my hand and totally managed to resist the urge to batter it off the wall and run out of the room screaming my head off.  Just.

7  I'd sell my soul and quite possibly my son for a packet of Pringles Sour Cream and Chive crisps.

I don't want to award this to anyone because I always end up missing someone out whose blog I LOVE, so here's the thing.  If you've a mind to do so - post on here 7 things that aren't widely known about you.  I promise not to tell a soul.....


  1. 1. I wanted to be a stripper when I was a little girl. I did not know everything that entailed, and it looked glamorous in the movies.
    2. I love potato chips so much that I never, ever, never buy them because I have no will power when we are in the same living space.
    3. I have a deaf son and took my local school system to court to provide a suitable education for him when he was 4 years old. After a year of mediation, I won.
    4. I can play the piano. My grandmother taught me on her beautiful, out of tune upright. It was so out of tune that when I finally played my songs on a finely tuned piano, they sounded "off" and I lost interest.
    5. I've seen 3 ghosts, so far...2 were family members, 1 was a stranger.
    6. I am a Reiki practitioner.
    7. When my kids were little, I made all their clothes. You couldn't pay me enough to set up my sewing machine now.

  2. a nun? why?

    what's a scotch pie (i'm a little frightened so tell me gently)?

    considering the typical content of my blog, i also find it hard to do a list of unknown things. hmmm, let me ponder...

    1. i download stuff illegally, not so much for the $ savings but because it's instant gratification at its finest.
    2. i have several famous people crushes and i can't get over them even though it makes me feel like i'm 14 and squealing over the lead singer of modern talking.
    3. i always pout my lips just a little when i look at myself in the mirror and, as a consequence, have no idea what i really look like. then i freak out at my photos.
    4. i like the feel of fur. if i had the guts, i'd wear it. even when i was a vegetarian i felt this way, so there.
    5. i have recently decided that i don't want any pets. they smell and require maintenance. plants? perhaps. or maybe a nice fur coat...
    6. i don't colour my hair. i like the grey "highlights"
    7. my biggest fear is that someone can read my mind. i have lots of private and sometimes filthy stuff in there and i don't want anyone to know.

  3. Technical note.
    You can type in LAMÉ by using ASCII codes (get them here)

    you can use them by finding the symbol you want on the table, then holding the Alt key down, type in the number code (always using a 0 as the first character if it's a 3 digit code)
    Example. You want to create "lame" using lowercase letters with an e acute, type in lam, then hold down the Alt key while typing 0233 USING THE NUMBERPAD KEYS

    Now 6 things.
    1.I don't believe there is a God
    2.I once did a very naughty thing, for which I would receive many years at Her Majesty's Pleasure, so I'm not going into details (Nobody was even hurt)
    3. If I wasn't such a nice person, I would be a psychopath(they have more fun)
    4.The first thing I bought when I went back to Scotland was a bridie. The second was a scotch pie, the third was a Tunnocks Caramel wafer washed down with Irn Bru.
    5.I really enjoy teaching
    6.I sometimes fantasise that I'm married to Dita Von Teese, then I realise I couldn't afford the Viagra bills

    Keep flushing and detoxing, and go and see the bloody Doctor

  4. OOps, forgot to say:
    1. The character will appear AFTER you release the Alt key
    2. Congrats on your nominationb.

    PS What nomination ?
    to What?

  5. You are a stylish blogger!

    1. Until I was 14 and discovered boys and alcohol (don't look shocked, I am from rural Scotland)I did dancing. In leotards and everything. I even have medals somewhere.

    2. I also pinch biscuits from the tin, but Dave does it too, so I say 'are you saying you didn't eat ANY on you're own, that I ate them ALL?' and he shuts up about it.

    3. If your only knowledge of me was my blog, it would seem that I live in a shiny house, filled constantly with homebaked cakes and homemade stuff. I can tell you now that our record box has three pairs of dirty socks in it, there are two loads of dishes by the sink and breakfast today was brought to the Hughes how courtesy of Fox's biscuits.

    4. I paint and draw, but I will never be a proper artist. I'm too afraid to show people my stuff, and also, I'm too 'normal' to ever be a really good artist.

    5. I would love to be ladylike - I like cream teas, and wearing dresses and things, and I have manners, but I always tend towards being uncouth. I can't help it. Again, rural Scotland is my excuse.

    6.My step-grandfather-in-law (Dave's step-grandfather) went to school with Dylan Thomas. He was also taught by his dad. I am quite proud of this!

    7. The jeans I am wearing have a massive hold on the inside of both legs. I should patch them, but instead I put tights on underneath and put a dress on.

  6. What crazy facts, Ali! I'd have loved to have seen a wee you doing an "Ooooh, Betty" impression. Seven secrets about me:
    1. At the beginning of every school term I'd dump my hateful new kagoul into a bin on the way home and pretend it'd been stolen.
    2. I'm shamefully addicted to the BBC daytime soap, Doctors.
    3. I can blow snot from my eye.
    4. I'm wearing last night's knickers.
    5. I've never read Wuthering Heights.
    6. I can eat a party pack of pretzels in one go.
    7. Whilst I was in Asda earlier I accidentally put a box of dental floss in my pocket instead of the trolley and left without paying. xxx

  7. Dear Ali,

    You crack me up! I had to Google a Scotch Pie! Double crust pastry! Bloody hell and a buttered roll. That is some snack.

    Loved Vix's answer about the kagoule. I did the same thing. I wouldn't be seen dead in one either, I'd rather get soaked.

    Have a great evening. I haven't got dressed all weekend and now I have to drag myself out to a fashion show. Love, C xx

  8. 1. I can fit my own fist in my mouth.
    2. When I was little I wanted to be a Air Hostess. Not bad for someone who hates flying.
    3. After just giving birth to my first child, I turned over in the bed to be greeted with a camera crew from the local TV station asking for my opinion on the shortage of Midwives. Luckily nobody had a video and I have never seen it!
    4. I once got drunk at my bosses office champagne birthday party and cut his tie in half whilst I danced on a glass top coffee table!
    5. I have a creme egg in my coat pocket that nobody knows about, I am waiting for OH to piss off to bed so I can eat it!
    Can't think of anymore, I am tired. Night Night Hestia x

  9. Allison, dear <3 <3 <3

    Thank you so much for your sweetest words. left me smiling like a Cheshire Cat.

    Have a wonderful day dear, i love reading your blog.


  10. Leonid - you are very welcome :-)

    Mrs Fab - you can fit your own fist in your mouth? I am impressed beyond words! Hope the Creme Egg went down a treat :-)

    Christina - it's not exactly quails eggs, is it? Still, I'm paying for my lard-heavy diet now lol!

    Vix - I cannot imagine you in a Kagoul. Nor Christina. I am boggled at the concept! The blowing snot from your eye sounds like a show-stopper :-D

    LM - your house IS filled with beautiful knick-knackery and hand-finished gorgeousness. Don't ruin it for me, otherwise I have nothing to aim for lol!

    TSB - thanks for the heads up on the graves and acutes. Will seek that out. Of course, now I NEED to know what your misdemeanour was :-)

    PC - it is a watercrust pastry shell filled with mince made out of the bits of a cow that you'd rather not put in your mouth. It's delicious :-) The nun thing - I am drawn to a contemplative life. Anything that involves a lifestyle with minimal tidying up and hoovering is fine by me.

    Joanne - being a stripper isn't so bad. I used to be very up tight about it: stripping = prostitution, but then I actually had a go at burlesque stripping and loved it. And then met lots of burly strippers who are absolutely lovely and would no sooner prostitute themselves than fly to the moon. Then I encountered some prostitutes and, well, they were poor souls. If only they COULD have been strippers.

    All your wonderful replies have confirmed one thing for me: we're all quite mad in one respect or another, so we might as well have some fun while we're about it!

  11. 12 year old you was brave! And yeah holding spiders or insects does make you want to do that!!

    Here's one weird thing about me that I've only just discovered... I'm taller than I thought I was. I've always been told I was 5'3 but after doing yoga for a bit, my other half measured me (just for fun as you do!) and I'm just over 5'4! I feel like I've been living a lie all these years ;)


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