15 Dec 2010

Hestia and ....The Cleaning of Nibbles

I took Christmassy pity on our little hamster, Nibbles, and moved him from the back sitting room (North facing, always Exorcist-chilly) and into our toasty-warm living room.

This proved to be a bit of a mistake because Nibbles likes to be a bit of a Diva as far as his woodshavings are concerned - scraping them up with great gusto and flinging them out of every gap in his cage.  Which means that my Best Room bears more than a passing resemblence to the Baby Jesus's Stable.  Only with tiny hamster poops.

Anyhoo, because he was with me all evening, I noticed that he was starting to get a bit smelly and I asked Sonshine to at least clean the wean's bed out.  Preferably the whole cage.  If he had the time.  Between computer games.  It might be a good thing to clean him out willingly, SO CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS  *hint, hint*

Sonshine nodded vigorously.

And did nothing.

Every day I reminded him to clean out the hamster.

Every day he promised to do it, but somehow, well, something funner got in the way.

Eventually I could stand it no longer and I offered to help.  With guidance and smiles only.  He agreed to the deal and we took Nibbles through to the kitchen and tipped our fat little hamster into his Yellow Ball for exercise while the cage was cleaned.

Sonshine then stood, completely overcome with inertia, at the magnitude of cleaning out a hamster bed 4" in diameter.

'What's the problem?' I asked, rolling my home-made meatballs expertly in my palms at the work surface.

'I don't want to....touch....it,' he admitted.

'Well, put something over your hand so that your precious little fingers don't come into contact with woodshavings damp with hamster wee.  OK?'

This pleased him and I turned my attention back to the meatballs.

Eventually I became aware of him standing behind me at the kitchen bin, poke poke poking at something.  I turned to see what was up.

There he stood, with the hamster's bed over the bin, poking at the damp, stuck contents WITH THE WOODEN SPOON!!!!

'WHATAREYOUDOING???' I yelped, flying over to him and snatching the wooden spoon out of his hand in as friendly and relaxed a way as I could muster without scaring the shit out of him.

'I told you I didn't want to get my hands in it,' he said crossly.

'How do you feel about PUTTING IT IN YOUR MOUTH?' I asked.

'Oh yeah, fair point mum. Fair point.'

I then sat the wooden spoon away from the other dishes, intending to bleach it in something hazardous as soon as I'd finished the meatballs.  By the way, this was my SECOND batch of meatballs that day, so my temper was as frayed as Daisy Duke's shorts during this entire period.

Nibbles had, we then discovered, pooped in his little ball and Sonshine was not happy at the hard rice-grain sized poops getting onto his hamster's fur.  I don't expect Nibbles was that keen either to be fair.  So I scooped out the hamster and took him back through to his cage.

Can you just keep an eye on the meatballs while I pop him back? I asked.

Well. I'll just stop the story there because I am quite sure that you know where it is heading.  The hamster was duly put into his ball.  I came back and completed the meatball dish with a very lovely tomato-based sauce and we sat down at the kitchen table to enjoy a home-cooked meal.  And it was bloody lovely and I felt the warm glow of Hestia Satisfaction. 

The glow disappeared quicker than a politician's promise when I started to wash up the dishes and discovered, to my utter horror, that there was now tomato sauce on the poopy-pee-pee wooden spoon.

Yes, Sonshine had stirred the meatballs  with it.

I never told him.

And we're still alive, so all's well that ends well.

Just don't EVER tell him.  OK?

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  1. Oh, my! As you say, you both survived it :-o Perhaps you should introduce Sonshine to a pair of rubber gloves? At least it was only meatballs, and not the delicious-looking chocolate you've got at the top of the page - that would really have been a crime ;-b

  2. LOL That is so funny, I can see that happening here.

  3. my first thought was: teenage boys do NOT think. then i realised my husband would totally do that too.

    just think of it as boosting your immune system (says the girl with toxoplasmosis).

  4. Sorry, can't make a helpful or sensible comment, too busy wetting myself with laughter.
    Similar thing happened here today - I was dishing up lunch for my boss & me when not only did a little bit drop on the floor but before I could pick it up, the cat gave it a little lick. I didn't really have any to spare so I picked that bit up and put it on my boss's plate. I'm never going to admit it to him...

  5. Yes the time has come to introduce Sonshine to rubber gloves! I really wanted to lick that spoon before I read the whole story.

  6. oh good lord! I hope you continue to be well.

    Matthew hates getting his hands in stuff but seems quite capable of cleaning the hamster cage sensibly (and fulfilling his promise of "Iwillcleanitandlookafteritandfeedit" that came with "please can we get a hamster?" - Matthew is of course my boyfriend and not my child . Oh well)

  7. Love your frayed temper/Daisy Duke line. And yeah I agree with Dash, think Sonshine needs a pair of rubber gloves for Christmas!

  8. A little bit of Tomato acid can kill most things, as I found out last year when I tipped a pile of rotten tomatoes in the worm bin. Dr Crippen would have been proud of me.
    Love the Daisy Dukes line too.

  9. Children have no concept of hygiene.Makes me want to control my OCD tendencies obviously did no harm to either of you.The boiling of corse will have zapped any germs.
    Hilariously funny!

  10. Ooops! Brilliant story. I did wonder what the picture had to do with it, I feared the worst. How are your Chrimbo plans going? Is Tetarus home yet? xx

  11. This is why I must never ever get a hamster. Ever. Or any other mammal. Or even a goldfish. I think even a goldfish could lead to Trouble. But i have carried out a number of kitchen hygiene experiments in my time and I think you are safe with the tomato sauce. Just makes it extra organic. xx

  12. aaaaagh! and this is why we never had a hamster or any other small creatures....hilarious....my friend did once use our cat's plate to convey her slice of cake, which still has my howling with laughter when I think of her face as I finally spluttered 'stop I'm about to wash that....'

  13. Most everything has poop from something or other on it, it's just a question of scale. I wouldn't get obsessed about it if I were you or you'll go mad - at least the poop was cooked :)

  14. Ania - cooked....yeuk!

    Mrs YaH - y'see I would just have said NOTHING!

    Blighty - We also have fish. The less said about the cleanliness of their tank the better.

    Christina - yep, did debate with self over whether to use wooden spoon image or hamster image. But the chocolate spoon looked quite christmassy! Am in most afternoons from now until Xmas :-)

    NS - that's the thing. Didn't wash it before it was re-deployed as meatball sauce stirring spoon!

    Legend - don't worms like tomatoes then?

    Mrs TNMA - thanks! Rubber gloves comin' up!

    Siobhan - boyfriends are EXPECTED to get their hands dirty ;-)

    Dash - yep, rubber gloves seem to be the winning though here.

    Santa - would totally have done the same as you!

    Ruby - only with dogs!

    Chloe - at least in the meatballs there are always lots of little lumpy bumpty bits...not so in chocolate. That doesn't bear thinking about!

    Ali x

  15. That which does not kill us, makes us stronger, even the wee spoon.

    Love you! Happy holidays!!

  16. Wonderful - really cheered me up!
    Reminded me of a neighbor, an escaped parrot and a pan of stew....

  17. Oh a little bit of wee escaped again!
    My husband has learnt to be very patient while I read your posts out to him (due to uncontrollable laughing) and that one was on a par with the London Dungeons!
    How much is it worth not to mention it to Sonshine in passing down the corridor?!

  18. Hah! That's hilarious! Poor Sonshine. I promise you that people like that do learn, eventually. I was just the same way when I was younger, but I have now turned into a functioning human being, so don't give up just yet.

  19. Love your narrative! My kids are a bit young at the moment so I have a good laugh while I can.
    Have a lovely Christmas and wonderful New Year!

  20. That has GOT to be good for your immune system(s).


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