10 Oct 2010

Hestia and The Hen Night (in numbers)

4pm - the ferry that I caught.  Had wanted to meet up with some old friends (B&C) in Glasgow on Sat afternoon, but they weren't going to be about.

7.15pm - the time we had booked the taxi to take us to the Cocktail Bar in Glasgow city centre.

7.20pm - The time the other two reprobates FINALLY showed up.

7.30pm - We walk into the cocktail bar with me saying how I'd wanted to meet up with my old friends and GUESS WHO IS SITTING HAVING THEIR DINNER IN THE SAME RESTAURANT???? B&C!!!! The weirdness continued because apparently my name had just been uttered before I tottered  towards them in the restaurant.

1 - the number of Cosmpolitan cocktails I had - I was going to be SENSIBLE tonight.

6 - The number of bottles of wine we had with dinner - two fizzy, four red.  The idea of being sensible is long dead and I have confessed about having Kevin in my bread bin:

'So, you've got a shaun o pacalatte in your bread bin,' giggled M.


'Yer wee Kevin guy, he's a shaun o pacalatte,' repeats M taking, perhaps unwisely, yet another glass of red wine from our never ending supply of bottles.

'Pain au Chocolate,' I corrected before bursting into uncontrolled fits of laughter and had to be escorted to the toilet because I thought I'd honestly wet myself.

100% - mascara all over my face after laughing at the shaun o pacalatte spoonerism.

50% - dry knickers.

0 - number of brain cells fully engaged when deciding whether to go HOME TO BED or go on to the CASINO.

£30 - spent on betting chips in the casino.

4.00am - the time our £30 was finally removed from our sweaty little hands and we were poured into taxis home.

7am - when I looked at the clock and wondered whether I should just get up to be sick to get it over and done with.

8am - the time I had to rouse my exhausted body from bed and get ready to go to the venue with the bride.

1 - slice of toast to keep me going.

1 - number of times me and the mad woman from Kilmarnock got lost trying to find the Kilmarnock Road.  Hint:  It's so big you can see it from space.

10am - time we arrived at the venue, wearing shades and starting to shake a wee bit.

100% enthusiasm for the venue for the wedding in a fortnight's time.  Gorgeous!

1 Blank stare given to us when we asked whether it was possible for us to buy breakfast......

0 - packets of crisps or sweeties in the car glove boxes....- we checked.

10.30 - the time I gave up trying to feel normal and confessed that I felt like total shit and needed to go home.

1 - Mad Woman From Kilmarnock who volunteered to drive me to  Wemyss Bay (I loves her)

3 - scrambled egg rolls purchased from the ferry cafe.

1pm - time I rolled through the front door, dropped my case and headed quietly for the painkillers

24 - hours until we are in London.  I sure hope I fecking feel better than this for our flight tomorrow at 10am. *help me face*

What about you lot?


  1. Wine never seems like it is not sensible when you open the first bottle, and once the first bottle is gone you stop being sensible.

    As always you made me chuckle! And spoonerisms are one of my favourite things.

    My weekend was great but not good in numbers. I hope Monday goes well.

  2. Must have been the day for feeling like shit. When someone asks me if I would like another drink, I"ll have to try forming the word "No" before the other word that gets you in trouble can make its predictable entrance. I did get my hestia fix, so it wasn't a total wash out.

  3. I loved reading it. I'm a big fan of drinking, though sadly my body can no longer take it (the 3 babies ruined my stamina). If I have a 'good night out' the hangover will last two days. The first of which I can't move.

    It sounds time to me like you're doing pretty well. Good luck for the flight!

  4. ugh. i feel i am far too old to keep repeating the mistakes of my youth but alas, last night's dinner at home with another couple resulted (as per usual with these two) in far more bottles of wine consumed than was entirely respectable, healthy or sanitary. and then, as the sense ran off, in rushed a selection of our home made liqueurs.

    somebody, please remind me that consuming anything alcoholic other than wine WILL result in toilet bobbing.

    christ on a pogo stick, do i feel like shit today.

  5. I agree with Siobhan - wine seems fine and civilized, and then you get inot multiple bottles and it gets a tad messy!

    Sounds like you had fun though!

  6. Dear Ali, life's too short to be sensible. It sounds like a fun night. Shame you couldn't just stay at home and recover the next day! Looking forward to you coming to London xx

  7. I laughed so much at the picture you'd painted, I nearly had an accident myself. Delightful blog.

  8. I laughed so much - am still giggling to myself. After jet lag and cleaning a disgusting kitchen (my children's) this is the tonic I needed. You may feel awful but think of all the good you've done for everyone who reads this!!!!

  9. Sounded like a fine time to me, Ali. Why is though that hangovers are so much worse as we get older though? That part sucks.

    Love you,


  10. I hope the reason for your recent blogging-absence is that you're currently having a whale of a time in that-there-London, and not still recovering from the squiffyness you've outlined!!!

    Me, I have just about learnt to be a tad cautious around alcohol; mind you, its taken me a good few very-very-bad mornings-after to finally wise up...28 years later!

    Looking forward to hearing about London - tho' please don't tell us you too have seen Pete Burns, what with me and The Harridan both clocking him recently!!!!

    Got me blog up and running now - take a look! xx

  11. sounds hilarious.........don't worry the drugs will work and welcome to our city!!

  12. YaH - loved London, really loved it!

    Trashsparkle - yep, there would have been blood shed if I'd tweeted AND blogged while there. And it would have been my blood. I like to keep it inside me at all times.

    Did not see Pete Burns Darn Sarf :-)

    SB - am never drinking again. Never.

    Mystica - I suffer so that no-one else has to lol!

    Shrimptowers - thank you! Very kind of you to say so :-)

    Christina - sorry that we missed each other. There's always next time though!

    LM - never doing it again. Well, maybe after the wedding, never doing it again.

    Polish Chick - Toilet bobbing! That was ME too!!!! lol!

    Modesty - I caught the flight quietly and with great dignity (ie still a bit puggled from the weekend)

    Legend - I need to learn to say no, to SO many things *grin*

    Siobhan - I now need to get another pain au chocolate to call Shaun o'pacalatte - the Irish version of Kevin :-)

    Missed you all while I was away. Glad to be back.


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