31 Jan 2013

Hestia Returns...with a tale of fluff

Well, I'm back! *sets cases down in the hall and unbuttons coat*

It's been nearly a month and I *think* that I'm coping better with the Tarot Radio Show (well, I've gone from taking 18 hours to create a show of 60 minutes to five hours.  It's still 3 hours too long, but at least it's going in the right direction).

A brief post today though, just to let you know how things are in the land of the undomesticated housefrau:

Reader, do you know what that is?

Yes, these ARE my reading glasses (to give some sense of scale here).  Not my specs, the little grey fluffy thing.

This is, believe it or not, belly-button fluff.  Belly button fluff THAT HAS BEEN COLLECTED INTO A NEAT PILE.  Not by me, of course.  But by SOMEONE ELSE.  Someone who said that if he featured in this blog again, there would be TROUBLE.

We were talking about belly button fluff this morning and He Who Cannot Be Mentioned, happened to say that he had a stock pile of it on his bedside cabinet.  Whether this was a dig at my non-existent cleaning skills I don't know.  But I had to see it.

And there it was.

And, dear Reader, I STOLE IT!

What is wrong with men?!

9 Jan 2013

Hestia ...takes a wee breather

So, I eventually managed to cobble together a whole hour of me talking about Tarot year cards for 2013 for half a dozen of the radio station's volunteer presenters.

But it took hours of work.

Honestly?  It took DAYS of work.

I had so much to say that I had to write it all down because if I just spoke about the card, I ended up wittering on for ages - and then forgetting to mention something really important.  Then getting a bit sweary.  Then tearful.  Then just bloody grumpy.

That's the 3 main stages of Garage Band Incompetence right there.

I ended up with pages and pages of hand-written notes (pencil) to refer to.

Then I accidentally deleted all the music.

Then I decided that I didn't want one particular bit of music and removed it.  Only to discover that in doing so I'd accidentally deleted all the music again.

Then I did something tricky - and accidental - with the mouse and a whole bit chunk of it went into a loop.  It took aaaaages to sort it out.  That bit got quite weepy and violent in turns.

Temper length: about *this* long. That's short.

Inconvenient happenings whilst recording:

1  forgetting that I had facebook open and all the little ping sounds of incoming messages were recorded to the show.

2  the phone ringing while I was recording.

3  Sonshine battering in to the room to tell me all about his day at school while I was recording.  He now tells me that I need a red light.  Outside the bedroom.  There was guffawing from Tartarus.

4  Tartarus came home.  Not exactly unexpected, but damned inconvenient.  He didn't bring me a present back from Israel even though he knows that I LONG to go there and eat myself into a coma.  I was grumpy.

5  I had to endure Tartarus hoovering while I was recording.   Temper length:  the thickness of a gnat's pubic hair......

6  Vocal ineptitude - getting half-way through saying something and coughing.  Or sneezing.  Or banging the microphone.  Or making the chair squeak like a particularly tense fart.  Or swearing.  Mainly swearing.  I look at The Jeremy Vine Show now with renewed respect, lemme tell you.  This is quite tricky to do.  And very tricky indeed to do well.

But it was completed and handed in.

I couldn't sleep on Sunday night worrying whether I had maybe got too personal with the Year cards for the presenters (given that I don't even know them, that is highly unlikely).

I couldn't bring myself to listen to the actual show on the Monday because, well, you know...... it was ME doing the talking and I would just have sat with my cardigan pulled over my head wailing at the horror of my poor diction and vocal ticks - how often do YOU think that you say - erm, um, so, or well?!  I say them ALL THE TIME!!!!!  I make Boris Johnston sound like Mr Suave.

I waited for the complaints to arrive (this is me, the world's number one worrier, remember) and lo!  a couple of kind facebook comments arrived.....then a couple of private comments on the facebook page - complementary!  Relief slowly began to unclench my bowels.

When I ventured in to the studio to collect my usb stick, the guys in charge were very kind and positive and suggested that I work on the recording volume of the vocals (the music was fine).  They also said, actually, that someone had commented that the music choices were GOOD!  Also that someone wanted the show on CD!!!!!

And so, clutching my little USB stick, I came home and started work on the next show immediately.

And that is where I am at the moment - working on next week's show.

And that's why I'm here:

Hestia will be taking a little holiday - just for a couple of weeks - until I get a bit more confident with the recording.  But I'll be back.

So please don't leave me.......  *sad puppy dog eyes*

5 Jan 2013

Hestia....tests her incontinence knickers

....and yours will get a thorough testing too if you watch this video.  It's a cleaned up version and REALLY funny:

Enjoy your weekend!

4 Jan 2013

Hestia's...mid life crisis

Shock Jock - Howard Stern
We haz the same hair
I lovely friend bought me a book for Christmas 'The Stranger in the Mirror' byJane Shilling. It's about Middle Age.

I must say that it is beautifully written and I'm totally yomping through it, but of course, I don't think that I'm REALLY going through the change ..... that isn't going to happen to me.

But when I got to the part in Chapter 2 about the 'pathological creativity....interminable crochet, amateur watercolours book groups and other horrors' I recognised my self and conceded defeat:  I am that middle-aged woman.

Explore the ruined citadel of m'blog: