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| Complete humour failure by end of note |
The truly
Or should that be 'music' teacher? Or even music 'teacher'?
Put it this way, my arrival for my weekly keyboard lesson warrants a frantic rolling of cigarettes and much deep puffing at the back door. By the time I leave, he's practically inhaling all his tobacco before the roll-up papers are out of his pocket.
Aaaaannnnyway....
I want to be healthier so I had decided that I would be cycling to Frank's last Wednesday.
Tartarus had gone out for a lunch-time pint with a fellow merchant navy friend who was visiting him for the afternoon. In my naivety (allows herself a hollow laugh) I had thought he might come home while I was out at my hourly lesson.
I announce in the note 'Gone to Frank's on BIKE!!' because I am GIDDY with excitement of doing something healthy and environmentally friendly.
I strap on my helmet and open the back door. It is raining, but not horrifically. I hurry to the outbuilding where my bike leans sadly against the wall. I throw my leg over and excecute a bikely 57-point turn. By the time I face the right way, the rain is coming down in sheets. SHEETS.
Bugger this.
I run back to the house, let myself in, drop off my helmet, pick up my car key and adjust the note by scoring through the 'BIKE!!' and scribbling 'car!!!'
I rush to the garage and open the door......and am confronted by Tartarus's car at the front of the garage. My mini is squashed up against the back wall. I have never driven Tartarus's car and I'm not going to try it today.
Trailing clouds of profanity behind me like cigarette smoke, I lock up the garage, run back to the house, let myself in, pick up my helmet, drop off my car key and adjust the note. I score through the word 'car!!!' and once again write Bike. No exclamation marks. I am no longer in a good mood.
And so I cycled to Frank's in the pissing rain. A lone cyclist in streets full of cars. Rain rolls off the front of my helmet in a continual waterfall, soaking the thighs of my jeans so that when I cycle, small bubbles are forced through the material. People are pointing at me. And no wonder. They think I'm an imbecile. So do I.
By the time I arrive at Frank's front door, the water is, literally, running off me.
He not only hands me a bath towel to dry myself on, but drapes a smaller one on the piano stool to make me more comfortable during my lesson.
'I thought you would have come by car today,' he offers.
I say nothing, but smile through gritted teeth.
When I get home, there is still no Tartarus. Indeed there is no Tartarus until 5pm.
The following day is The End of Days. My blogging is all out of synch. I blame my hormones.
Note: Tis now Monday and it has rained and rained and rained. And it's now JULY!!
How's the weather where you are?
dull as ditch water and drizzling gently......am pretty much over this and plan to run away somewhere....anywhere....where the sun shines....maybe Greece so I can get warm and give my money to the Greeks with or without gifts.....I'm a leo i can't live like this!!
ReplyDeleteI'm a Leo too - me neither!
DeleteShite. Dull, wet, not cold but a bit sticky. Sounds appealing, no?
ReplyDeleteWhat did you play in the keyboard lesson? Singing in the rain? Handel's Water Music? It might as well rain until September? I could go on... At least you made it, well done!
PS. My party pieces on the piano (by which I mean I play them OK on my own, as soon as anyone listens, I go wrong) are Knights in White Satin, God Only Knows and Annie's Song. And various easy bits of classical which I can never remember the names of. I'm so classy. xxxx
I think it was 'Killing me softly' which is oddly appropriate as my playing COULD be termed some kind of 'soft' torture! You're got party pieces? I have no party pieces. But then again, I have no parties :-D
DeleteDrizzly today, but been OK lately
ReplyDeleteYou've been HOT. When is it MY turn to be hot?!
DeleteWhat kind of car does Tartarus drive ?
ReplyDeleteSome kind of Subaru. Looks like a Ford Focus to me :-D
DeleteIt's been peeing down all day again here. Continuing with Curtise's theme, I'm going to suggest 'Only Happy when it Rains', 'Why does it always rain on me?' 'Rainy Days and Mondays' ... I could go on, but I think we've all lost the will.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I do envy you having keyboard lessons. I keep promising myself I'm going to learn a musical instrument but I can't seem to make the commitment.
You should sign up - it's the best hour in my week!
DeleteFind yourself a local keyboard's tutor and JUST DO IT!
i'm proud of you for merely augmenting the note and not filling it with the sort of terms of endearment that would pop into my head in that sort of situation. then again, i suppose with a child in the house one edits somewhat.
ReplyDeleteit's cool but sunny here and quite quite pleasant. i wish it hadn't quite literally rained on the parade on canada day yesterday, but the evening was quite lovely for the fireworks.
Yes, there would have been more in the 'colourful' language category if the small person wasn't around. He's very prudish about me swearing - so I really do try not to do it in front of him. Or write it down. Failing miserably!
DeleteMakes you want to blindside him, eh? Just like Katie did with Tom.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I'm done with this pedalling business. I want some oars.
I KNOW! He'll remember his 50th birthday for EVER. Wonder what she's up to.... *suspicious face*
DeleteAh, the joys and delights of a Scottish Summer, but why didn't you give Tartarus's car a go?
ReplyDeleteIf you'd dented it, it would have been a message to him to "DON'T BLOCK MY CAR IN YOU UNTHINKING B*STARD"
A win-win situation really.
I felt like leaving that note scratched into the paintwork of his bonnet :-D
DeleteOne great skill men have developed over the centuries is when to stay in the pub.
ReplyDeleteTartarus is clearly world-class in that skill then :-D
DeleteAh. The weather was glorious on Saturday and we got drenched in Edinburgh on Monday. But now we are back in London where I think Grace Dent described the weather as grot (grey and hot)
ReplyDeleteI love Grace Dent. Grot. We have Gret - grey and wet. Longing for Grot :-)
DeleteWho the Hell is Pixl?
ReplyDeleteHave you changed your profile Ali?
annnnnd the problem is the my son has started a blog a blogger blog as a summer holiday project and he was clearly logged in and I failed to check before I started typing,
ReplyDeleteAnd lo! Pixl commented on everyone's post. But it was really me. Apologies! This is going to be a problem lol! I'll need to remember and check that I'm logged in as myself!
Ali x
Ali, it is a great comfort to me that I am not alone in getting into these sort of transport related muddles....once in London with street parking I could not find my car near our house ...spent ages running up and down the street and round the mews.....no sign of it....eventually realised I had let Mr B use it the night before and being a man, he had parked it miles away.......and not told me where...no pressure, except I had a plane to catch...oh happy days, makes the school run seem positively relaxing...xx
ReplyDelete