|Don't let that graceful exterior fool you.|
These are crappers of Olympian proportions.
I downloaded a Nightstand app, which basically gives you a snazzy alarm clock. How to waken up tomorrow morning? What could be more pleasant than being gently roused by the distant peal of chiming Church Bells?
I set it all up. I knit a couple of rows. Fix my knitting mistakes. Go to sleep.
This morning I am woken by a cacophony of noise. I have forgotten about the Nightstand app and am deafened by the cheerful peel of bells at 7.30am.
I realise that I have neglected to work out how to turn the bloody thing off.
Throwing the ipad across the room is not an option. I jab at at the screen until the bells fall into silence.
My head is reeling. It is not yet 8am. It is Friday The Thirteenth.
So, how has it gone for you, dear reader?
Here's how my day shaped up:
Been rudely awoken by church bells at 7.30am.
My favourite kitchen knife snapping in two when I attempt to cut a banana.
The unfortunate bare-foot-in-sandal discovery that a swan can shit as impressively as a Great Dane.
That swan poop stinks worse than dog poop
The excavation of an ancient tray of samphire from the back of the fridge. Runny. Stinky.
Realising that I'd left a line full of washing out ALL night. Neighbourhood SHAME.
Going for coffee and home made pancakes to my Day Carer's house
The discovery that it is not too difficult to get swan poop off my sandal and foot.
That the dry-retching stopped pretty quickly
Being able to fix the ongoing mistakes in my knitting
Nice weather should dry off my washing again.
LAST MINUTE ENTRY FOR HIDEOUSNESS LIST...... Tartarus will be HOME TOMORROW after only a couple of weeks away. Yes, his ship has been sold at last and he has stripped her bare of her baubles and jewels (well, the computer system anyway) and is bringing them home to Blighty. Blighty the country, not Blighty the blogger.
I have less than 24 hours to turn this midden into a respectable family home.
Share your 13th Misery and Delight with me!