|How I imagine it's supposed to go..|
I ordered a chai latte. I sat down and began to sip it. And started to feel unwell. Ever unwilling to give up on food or drink, I forced the whole latte down. And still felt unwell. I abandoned my table and went to my default illness position - hanging over a loo in a pub toilet.
After about half an hour of Not Feeling Well, I was then seized with the I Must Get Outside bug and bustled my way past all the ski-wear shops to the front entrance of the mall. Where I still felt sick. Except now I was standing in the freezing rain.
Maybe a stroll through Primark might help? I entered the store to be hit with a wave of warm, strangely perfumed air, and headed straight back out of the store.
This wasn't good. Sonshine and I were due to head up to my mother's directly after the snowboarding and all I wanted to do was lie down and die. So I lay down in the back of the mini (no mean achievement) and passed the time until I could pick Sonshine up and leave.
Of course, HE had forgotten to buy Juno, my mother, anything for Mothers Day. I had promised him that we would shop for somethign together in Braehead. But by the time he slipped off his salopettes, I only wanted to Get In The Car and GO.
So that's what we did.
On arriving at Juno's I declined the kiss on the cheek and hurried myself straight upstairs to bed. Where I lay for the next 2 hours. And when I emerged, I was as right as rain. So no idea bout the nausea. Other than the fact that I keep forgetting that I no longer have a gall bladder and milky things can sometimes be a little problematic.
The day passed uneventfully (ie it was boring) and in the evening I gave her her Mothers' Day card. This card contained a ticket to see Jai McDowall, winner of the 5th Britain's Got Talent Competition. He is coming to play down at mine. Not my house. My town.
I HAD already asked Juno whether she might like tix for Josh Groban - but they were working out at nearly £100 and she wasn't happy about the price - Jai is sort of like Josh Groban, so when I got the chance to buy tickets locally and at an altogether affordable price, I jumped at the chance.
She opened the card.
I explained about the ticket and who he was.....
Juno: 'So is this instead of paying for my new earrings? As we had agreed?'
Me: 'Yes. You liked him when he was on the telly? He's like Josh Groban.'
Juno: Yes, but I think I'd prefer you to pay for the earrings. They're more....permanent. Who's got the other ticket?'
Me (somewhat rattled): Who do you think? ME of course.
Juno: Will you be able to get someone to go with you?
Me (wondering why the FUCK I bother) yeah, no problem. I'll send you a cheque for the earrings.
AT this point we retire to our beds and I am stewing with anger. Reader, this is the woman who reminded me TWICE in the same sentence a couple of weeks ago that I Never Invite Her Down To My House. Well, so much for trying.
Next morning is Mothers' Day and we awake to snow. Which is not good. I am driving a mini and had, but the previous day, thoughtfully removed the snow shovel that poor Tartarus had thoughtfully put IN the mini. I had plans for nice long leisurely breakfast with my mother and then amble off home. Arrival of snow and blizzard conditions mean that we gobble down breakfast and hit the happy trail for home at 10am.
I explain to Sonshine in the car that Gran didn't want the ticket. He pats my hand sympathetically: Gran doesn't like anyone these days.' And he's right.
**** Note: Yesterday she phoned to say that she would just buy the ticket off me and come down to see the gig. Woopee. I can hardly wait.*****