22 Apr 2010

In which Hestia gets all Frenchified....

The Cookery Book
I don't know about you, but late at night, glass of wine in one hand and mouse twitching in the other hand - I've made some odd purchases.  Usually on Ebay.  Usually they arrive and I have no recollection of ever buying that empty jam jar or 1975 Jackie Annual.  Oh yes, I've bought both.

Surfing the intertubes at night now comes with a new hazard: following links through other people's tweets on Twitter.  This is what I dida couple of weeks ago and this is how, this morning, I come to be opening a Children's Cookery Book.

In French.

I blame @indiaknight, whose glorious Posterous postings regularly beguile me into worryingly long periods spent drooling at boots, bags, tap-dancing shoe designers and, yes, a children's cookery book in French.

I've got my Higher French and, every parents' night at school, the teacher pats me on the arm and reassures me that Blair IS still learning French on weekly basis.

Confident and feeling all cosmopolitan I enter Sonshine's bombsite playroom and present him with the book.

'What's that?' brows down (ie it's not lego or a Bakugan)

'It's a cookery book.  In French. You've been doing French at School for five years now, non?' I grin.

I begin to read out a recipe - Onion Soup.

He raises a small hand and says 'Question?' with that upward inflection at the end that alerts me to the fact that this is some psuedo-bored-preteen mannerism picked up from The Suite Life of Zac and Cody). 

'What exactly *is* this stuff you are reading out?'

'It's French. Basic French.  The stuff your school has been applauded for by the Council. Your school gets extra money from the Council for this. French. You've been doing it for the past FIVE years.' 

He looks at me in the pitying manner of an expert regarding a novice, 'Ah, but mum, we only TALK it, we don't READ it.'


Sensing my disappointment (could it have been the sharp slapping shut of the book that gave it away?) he did manage to work up a degree of genuine enthusiasm about the illustrations - and this morning he was discovered copying the illustration of a 'lapin' to take to school.  He has proudly announced that he now knows that lapin = rabbit. 

He's VERY fond of rabbits.

He has also forgotten that it's a cookbook.

Oh dear, how much trouble am I going to be in when he asks me what 'lapin au vin' means......


  1. LMAO excellent...but then you can return to Miss.Dahl, who, for the love of Mike, was cooking with tofu last night. That doesn't even count as food....
    I'd rather watch Ben10 than Zac & Cody, or Hannah Montana, or the Wizards of Waverley Place ....

  2. They only do reading French in any great detail in secondary school in most places. One nursery I was in was doing french with 3-5 year olds, it was amazing(fruit, clothes, days of the week etc)

    I suggest you remove the rabbit in wine recipe from the book without telling him! Are the recipes any good?

    Vivianne, what is The Wizard of Waverly Place? It sound like I would like it. Hannah Montana makes me want to poke my eyes out. I don't really understand Ben10 either. 90'd teen sitcom things were much better. Give me Alex Mack or Clarissa any day!

  3. I meant 90's. My typing is atrocious.

  4. Viv - Tofu gives me epic wind - so I don't eat it. That, coupled with the dahl dish would have my family tooting to Olympic standard.

    Lisa-Marie - I haven't cooked from it yet, but it IS a beautiful book - very child-friendly and the graphics and handwriting are just lovely.

    I deface no books - not even for my son - he'll just need to get over the fact that we can EAT them ;-)

  5. LOL - will you be getting him the Little Book of Bunny Suicides as well?
    Like Ben10, never seen any of the other stuff. Mine like animation.

  6. Lisa-Marie, here you go:

  7. Ali -

    LOL We all have these late night purchasing forays. Then they arrive in the mail, and we are standing there going "WTF!?" Then we remember acutally making the purchase! ;-)

    I had rabbit one time - it tasted a lot like chicken, and was good, but my mind could never, ever allow me to go there again! Good way to talk myself into being a vegetarian! ;-)



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