1 ... worrying about things that will NEVER happen.Today, for example, I wasted a good 10 minutes of my life wondering how I would survive being buried in an avalanche (FYI: I would keep my hands close to my face so that I can push away snow and create a breathing space and try to determine which way was up, by trying to get a little of the snow to fall on my face. Or not)
This sort of shit has GOT TO STOP.
2 ... feeling like an overstuffed sausage in my clothes AND continuing to eat mince pies, lasagna, mince pies and mince pies.
I sat on the edge of my bed the other day, studying my greying reflection and my increasingly bulky form. Whilst continuing to eat my Tunnocks Caramel Wafer.
Got. To. STOP.
3 ... crying at adverts
I snivel at sad-looking dogs, abandoned in the rain with only an old one-eyed teddy bear for comfort. I snivel at doe-eyed children who peer round the side of a sofa, fear a battering from a parent. Snow leopards. Disappearing ice-caps. You name it, I've gret my eyes into pink slits over it.
And nothing changed. Not a single thing. The 2014 weeping has got to stop and some actual 2015 ACTION has to take its place.
4 ... saying YES to being on committees :)
I have sat on more boring, boring, BOOORING committees than you will have had hot dinners - marketing groups, sailing club, school parent council. At a Community Council meeting, I once, honestly, gently laid my head on the desk and started to whine like a distressed whippet.
Why do I do it? Through some misguided sense of social responsibility? A desire to be needed? To make a difference?
Here's what I've learned about being on a committee - unless EVERYONE wants to make a change, you will not make any impact.
In 2015 I will be cutting my own swathe and jumping off the committee boat!
5 ... showing people that the story that they have shared on fb is, in fact, a fake or four years out of date.
That wastes about as much of my time as the imaginary Avalanche Scenario above. And I'm not doing it any more. Check your own stories before you share them. You'll thank me for it. I promise.
6 ... being scared of failing. At anything. Everything.
7 ... being on facebook every minute of the goddamned day.
Sure, it's better than real life because I get to be witty and charming and informative and all that whilst sitting in my jammies till noon with hair that looks like it needs a sedative dart.
8 ... hating my hair. See 7 above.
Also, I'm growing out my grey. And have discovered that I can use pastels to turn my parting and hair line into a veritable riot of colour. Messy on the clothes though.
9 ... Listening to the Jeremy Vine show
I will have a stroke one day, hurtling vitriol at the radio because of that show. Also, cannot be bothered with Steve Wright in the Afternoon. I am instead going to slip into the warm and comforting embrace of Radio 4 instead.
10 ... reading blogs that promise 'juicy', 'sexy' self-improvement. I am betting that they too are sitting in their jammies at noon with bad hair and facebook envy but are just better at putting on a game face than the rest of us. Nah, I'm not buying into that any more - I'm saying goodbye to these people making me feel utterly inadequate.
And that's me for 2014 and what lies ahead in 2015.
May you all have a peaceful, joyful 2015 and may all your loved ones be healthy and happy.
See you on the other side!
Nope, 5 is a public service - if you don't do, a sizeable portion of your friends list will also share the same stupid and pointless story and you will be compelled to de-friend them out of sheer irritation.
ReplyDelete7 - don't you dare! You and the Evil one are my only social contact some days!
Ditch the rest :D
you might have a point re no 5 :-D
DeleteWell, here's some things: You are not leaving MY committee boat - if you did, I would sink. 'K ? That is non-negotiable.
ReplyDeleteBeing able to survive an avalanche is a skill you might actually need where you live, so it wasn't a waste of time; I worked out how I would survive the scenario of The Day After Tomorrow, and once I'd done that, I could sleep peacefully again.
Radio4 will have you shouting too, all those sanctimonious over-educated middle-class Guardian readers with their superficial 1st world problems, I despise them, could you tell ? You have DAB, try Gold, Magic, Smooth or Absolute80s.
I myself am switching out mince pies for celery. I like celery, fortunately.
I am not scared of anything. Except of being in a car :) And actually when you think about it, that's perfectly natural LOL
See you on the other side ... XX
Today's pointless worryfest included: " If out walking in the woods with Tartarus and Sonshine and Tartarus fell and broke his leg, what would I do?! " and that other incredibly important scenario 'If aliens landed and told Sonshine that he could only save one of his parents, which one would it be?'
DeleteCan you IMAGINE if I took drugs?!
This is a wonderful list. I laughed and nodded and some part and I wholeheartedly agree with you. May 2015 be a year of saying yes to only awesome things.
ReplyDeleteYes Asha! Say yes to only AWESOME sounds like a great mantra!
DeleteI agree with (and am amused by) all of this, BUT you've got no chance with the Crying at Adverts. Because you have a soul.
ReplyDeleteI am coping by simply switching to an advert-free channel each time they come one. I also have taken to switching off the news :-D
Deleteohhh, but, but, but if you go off FB I'm going to miss wittiness like: "hair that looks like it needs a sedative dart." Good for you, though, lots of hugs. Oh, and loved number 10.
ReplyDeletebtw this is Roskis Jordan reclaiming her name: Rosina Bucio
Roskis/Rosina! Great to see you! <3 What name do you want me to call you?!
DeleteHmm... check out homeopathic Arg Nit and see if it fits the bill (that anxiety about things that are unlikely to happen is indicated, I think).
ReplyDeleteCrying at ads? Waves hand in recognition. Crying is good for you. That's my excuse.
But committees? No sirree! I get my 'No' in SOOOOO fast, they don't know what has smacked them between the eyes.
xxxx
ooh I shall check out the Arg Nit (sounds like a concoction for head lice treatment though!) Crying IS good for you, but there ARE limits. Will be resigning from my first committee tomorrow :-D
DeleteI get the whole crying game thing but it can get addictive......My top radio tip is R4 till after woman's hour then over to Lauren Laverne at 6 music....only making exceptions for R4 comedies Ed Reardon or In And Out Of The Kitchen .....then back to 4 about half way through Radcliffe & Marconie unless they've got particularly good guests.....happy new year!!x
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year to you too!! That sounds like a great Radio plan - I shall give it a bash. Just as soon as they fix the transmitter after last night's high winds *radioless face*
DeleteI'm nominally on one committee but hardly ever attend the meetings. Time grinds, and all we ever seem to do is to postpone making a decision about anything, or delegate it to sometone else. In this day and age, we could just have the meeting online, sitting in the warm, and no-one could see what we were drinking :)
ReplyDelete