1 ... worrying about things that will NEVER happen.
Today, for example, I wasted a good 10 minutes of my life wondering how I would survive being buried in an avalanche (FYI: I would keep my hands close to my face so that I can push away snow and create a breathing space and try to determine which way was up, by trying to get a little of the snow to fall on my face. Or not)
This sort of shit has GOT TO STOP.
2 ... feeling like an overstuffed sausage in my clothes AND continuing to eat mince pies, lasagna, mince pies and mince pies.
I sat on the edge of my bed the other day, studying my greying reflection and my increasingly bulky form. Whilst continuing to eat my Tunnocks Caramel Wafer.
Got. To. STOP.
3 ... crying at adverts
I snivel at sad-looking dogs, abandoned in the rain with only an old one-eyed teddy bear for comfort. I snivel at doe-eyed children who peer round the side of a sofa, fear a battering from a parent. Snow leopards. Disappearing ice-caps. You name it, I've gret my eyes into pink slits over it.
And nothing changed. Not a single thing. The 2014 weeping has got to stop and some actual 2015 ACTION has to take its place.
4 ... saying YES to being on committees :)
I have sat on more boring, boring, BOOORING committees than you will have had hot dinners - marketing groups, sailing club, school parent council. At a Community Council meeting, I once, honestly, gently laid my head on the desk and started to whine like a distressed whippet.
Why do I do it? Through some misguided sense of social responsibility? A desire to be needed? To make a difference?
Here's what I've learned about being on a committee - unless EVERYONE wants to make a change, you will not make any impact.
In 2015 I will be cutting my own swathe and jumping off the committee boat!
5 ... showing people that the story that they have shared on fb is, in fact, a fake or four years out of date.
That wastes about as much of my time as the imaginary Avalanche Scenario above. And I'm not doing it any more. Check your own stories before you share them. You'll thank me for it. I promise.
6 ... being scared of failing. At anything. Everything.
7 ... being on facebook every minute of the goddamned day.
Sure, it's better than real life because I get to be witty and charming and informative and all that whilst sitting in my jammies till noon with hair that looks like it needs a sedative dart.
8 ... hating my hair. See 7 above.
Also, I'm growing out my grey. And have discovered that I can use pastels to turn my parting and hair line into a veritable riot of colour. Messy on the clothes though.
9 ... Listening to the Jeremy Vine show
I will have a stroke one day, hurtling vitriol at the radio because of that show. Also, cannot be bothered with Steve Wright in the Afternoon. I am instead going to slip into the warm and comforting embrace of Radio 4 instead.
10 ... reading blogs that promise 'juicy', 'sexy' self-improvement. I am betting that they too are sitting in their jammies at noon with bad hair and facebook envy but are just better at putting on a game face than the rest of us. Nah, I'm not buying into that any more - I'm saying goodbye to these people making me feel utterly inadequate.
And that's me for 2014 and what lies ahead in 2015.
May you all have a peaceful, joyful 2015 and may all your loved ones be healthy and happy.
See you on the other side!
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