13 Oct 2012

Hestia faces the Make Up Mavens

I dream that the lippy makes me look like this.
After our third and FINAL visit to Nando's (in Glasgow this time) we pulled on our  woolly hats, turned up our collars and headed back up a dark and wet Buchanan Street to return to our hotel.

But what's this?

A large and glamorous department store (that I visited in the past with disastrous consequences for my credit card....remember my session with Daniel?!) threw a warm and welcoming light out into the darkness!!!

I have a vague memory of asking Tartarus to bring me home a Chanel lipstick many months ago.  He had been dispatched so many times to the Chanel concession in the airport in the US that the girls who worked there must have thought he had a deep rooted Chanel addiction.  He had refused to go again and suggested that I just buy the lipstick in the UK, for all the difference in price there would be.

'Want to see your mother absolutely TERRIFIED?' I asked Sonshine.

Well, what small boy doesn't?



Before I could change my mind, I was through the highly polished wooden door and standing in the Chanel concession.  A dozen immaculately painted faces turn my way. I remember that I'm just out of Nandos and have a peri-peri breath that could fell a cart horse at 20 paces.

A magnificent girl sweeps towards me like a black-chiffon galleon in full sail (honestly, she was very friendly), her perfectly made up face hovvering inches away from mine.

'I'm looking for a lipstick,' I squeak.

'Which shade, do you know?' she asked, kindly.

I gaze at the gleaming hilts of a million different lipstick tubes.  'I don't know.  It's coral.  But it's pink,' I fluster. 'I saw it on the Chanel website. Months ago.'

Even I realise that this isn't going to help.

She carefully picks out a pinky-toned coral shade and ushers me over to a plush high seat before a brightly lit mirror.  After a wipe down of my own lipstick (which had been well-eaten off in Nandos, I can assure you) she began to paint up my mouth.  I totally tried not to breathe my fiery fumes on her, but she was very deliberate and my breath-holding isn't that great......

Sonshine was fascinated.

At the end of it she admired her handiwork on my mouth and I apologised to her for my Nando-breath.

Reader, I bought the lipstick.  I have no idea whether it suits me or not.  And I feel a bit guilty because my mother has been wearing the same shade of lipstick for the past 40 years and I have an artist's paint case that is filled with nothing but Disaster Lippy or Duplicate Lippy.

Outside in the glistening wet street, our hats once again jammed down over our eyes, we hurried back up the street to our hotel.

'Well, what did you think of the Make Up Mavens?" I asked him.

'They reminded me of sirens,' he replied *cue mental picture of Chanel Department full of flashing lights and wailing noises*

'Sirens?'

'Yes, you know.  The beautiful women that tempted sailors to their deaths on the rocks. In the stories.'

I grinned.  'Well, I don't know that they managed to tempt the only sailor that WE know, but they've certainly lured my credit card to a cruel death on the rocks of their lipstick counter.'

'You should go more often - and I'll come with you,' he continued, squeezing my hand supportively.

'They have nice swivel seats.'

19 comments:

  1. adorable. but was it THE lipstick?

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    1. It wasn't. But it IS lovely and I'm happy with it. They have lovely make up tutorials on their website. I sometimes just sit with my coffee and kitkat and pretend I've got that life lol!

      Ali x

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  2. Happy to know that I am not the only one with a thousand and one lipsticks that re "not quite right"! ;-)

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  3. I, too, have scads of 'not quite rights' and my daughter is now too grown up to want to play with them...she has her own to muck about with.

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  4. Aww, Sonshine is a sweetie :)

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    1. he is. Even though he was purely motivated by the swivel chairs that they have :-)

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  5. Aw that is so sweet - and I have such trouble with lipstick. Really hard to find one that suits me, doesn't drain my lips of moisture and stays put more than 3 seconds.

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    1. Do you tend to wear glosses then? I can't keep them on my lips lol!

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  6. You should set Sonshine on a task to make some new and exciting colours from your selection of disaster shades! I was giggling at your piri-piri breathe comments. I always feel similarly paranoid about my breath when I've been in the (slightly awkward) position of putting makeup up on someone else! x

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    1. I might let him have a creative moment with my lippies, but I'd rather they went to a good home. I might try to organise a swap with some girlfriends :-D

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  7. Sonshine is so sweet. Pink doesn't suit me.

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    1. You're a peach sort of a man, I'm thinking :-D

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  8. did their perfect makeup include their decolletage ? Or was there an orange line around the jaw marking the end of the made-up zone? or Maybe that's just a southern makeup maven thing ....*ponders*

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    1. There was no decolletage on show. Black sweaters up to the chin. Very chic.

      Ali x

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  9. oh how wonderful...new lippy..... like you I've got loads and as finances have currently left the building and there are no treats for me I'm digging them all out to rejuvinate myself for winter ....top tip: you can mix the colours to create a brand new or better one!!x

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    1. Good idea to do that for the winter! Maybe we could swap lol!

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  10. Sonshine is very cool - swivel seats are the business, all the rest is just frippery. I have the same helpful way of describing the product I want - pink, saw it on the internet once - sometimes it turns out to be an Estee Lauder product I am describing when I am at the YSL counter....need to keep these people on their toes..

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