|Billy Bunter - cake expert|
I decided that it was time to give it a bash and so today I set to work - turning two packets of ginger nuts into a fine powder in the food processor and heating through the condensed milk, the sugar and the butter.
And that's it.
What could go wrong?
Well, of course, running true to form, something DID go wrong: my food processor couldn't cope with TWO packets of ginger nuts to pulverise at the same time, so I whizzed up one packet and decanted the gingery dust into a bowl before whizzing up the remaining packet.
And can you guess what I did?
Yes, I added only the BOWL of ginger nuts to the mix.
I thought that it was looking a bit sloppy, but I nearly wept when I saw that I had left a whole packet of stuff in the processor that needed to be added to the mix. I very bravely tipped everything back into the pan and stirred like no one has ever stirred before. My biceps were bulging. My eyes were bulging. There was a slight film of sweat on my upper lip. It was wobbing. Pretty much all of me was wobbling. Hestia doesn't really do exertion. Ever. Just ask Tartarus.
It was pretty much a solid concrete block by the time I tipped/scraped/WILLED the mixture out into the tray bake tin.
And then my next problem.
My tin was too large. If I spread it to the edges, it would be about as deep as Kim Kardashian's intellect. A cake cannot be mean and thin - it must be deep and generous!!
With Herculean effort, I chipped the mixture out of the Big Tin and into the little tin. At this point I gave up any semblance of kitchen artistry and just used my hands to press it all into place.
I added cranberries to the mixture, it's not blood. This time.
All pressed into place.
Quality control mice at work
Melting chocolate in bowl over some simmering water
- next time I'd use some kind of posh ginger/chocolate thang
I divided it up into squares and popped them into a cake tin. Sonshine thinks that it tastes great. And it does. Even when I cock it up, it tastes great. But, I warn you, it's a pancreas buster! Cut the squares small as it's very sweet.
Go on, have a go this weekend!!! There's no cooking at ALL :-D