9 Jun 2011

Hestia and..... some miscellany

First up, I need to let you know - Tartarus made it home.  On Saturday night.  A full twenty four hours after I was expecting him to arrive home. I was not amused.  As a result, I had a face like an Afghan hound chewing a wasp when I met him at the ferry. 

<- illlustration of a face like an Afghan hound chewing a wasp

 It transpired that on Wednesday (original pay off from the ship day) the Mexican Navy were having a Gay Pride Day or something of a celebratory nature and the port was closed for the day.  This has happened before.  These Mexicans will do ANYTHING for a day off.

Anyway, he paid off on Thursday.  And when the tired and fed-up merchant navy officers hit Mexico City airport, they naturally hit The Friendly Man's Bar where the bar staff are on first name terms with our returning heroes.  A couple of shandies *cough* later, they catch their flights to whatever parts of the world they live in.  Only one of them is trying to return to Blighty and this would be, of course, the one that belongs to me.

For the second time in his life, he was refused access to the plane on the grounds that he had been drinking.  There is no point in arguing with KLM over this matter - sailors travel on greatly reduced air tix, so it is better to keep a high-paying tourist (this is a Thursday flight to Europe, remember) happy and bounce the cheapie sailor to the Friday flight.  Well, that's what Tartarus maintains anyway......

This 'drink' fact was relayed to me when he was in Amsterdam airport. So I hung up on him, as any sensible domestic goddess who had been scouring the internet for days for news of possible volcanic activity, ground crew strikes and possible muggings of drunk Scottish sailors for their mobile phones and ipods.

Reader, by the time he got home, I could barely look at him.  I was furious.  Not only had he been turned off the flight, but he had booked himself into an hotel at Mexico airport AND NOT EVEN PHONED TO LET US KNOW.

OK - so his phone doesn't work in Mexico, but I'm PRETTY confident that the hotel would have a phone that could, somewhere.  I suspect that he didn't phone because he possibly didn't want me to hear his drink-slurred voice.  Wifely radar can pick up an over-carefully enunciated word anywhere in the world.

We just KNOW guys, that's all you need to remember, we just KNOW.....

Anyway - long story short.  He is home.  And I am over the upset.  Kind of.

Other more upbeat Miscellany now: Sonshine won an art competition at school on Monday.  This is it:

Utterly thrilled to miss his orienteering expedition, as you can see

It apparently shows the Council where they should stick the Town Bell.  I came up with a different suggestion entirely, which is not fit for publication here.

Passed his cycling proficiency on Wednesday.  He got a certificate and a comment that said his trailbiking helmet was not suitable.  Given that he is the only child in his class who actually WEARS his helmet outside of school cycling lessons, I don't really care whether they think he has restricted viewing under his chin.  Frankly, if the car is under his chin, there's not a helmet in the world that will help.

Sonshine nonchalantly asked me for a cheque for £175.00 for the 5-day school trip to the outdoor centre (please God, don't let me get the call to be a parent helper at that! Tartarus and I are planning a Mid-Week Break that week). I was agog at his cheek.  I would have been sucking up to my parents for MONTHS if I was looking for that sort of cash.  I would at least have cleaned out my stinking wee hamster.  Ah - and that brings me to the next bit of miscellany.....

Nibbles has utterly ruined a pair of curtains.  Well, only one curtain to be fair.  But if one curtain is ruined, the pair are pretty much ruined, don't you think? - lookee here to see for yourself the damage that a small rodent can work in a single night when a curtain is accidentally trapped in the front of his cage. Please note that each of these photos shows a different set of holes:

This soft-furnishing desecration has also resulted in me throwing myself on Tartarus's non-existent capacity for mercy with regard to the tiny destructo-rodent.  *He* wanted to do something arty and fatal to him with a rolling pin.  I, on the otherhand, am quite attached to the little varmint and begged for clemency.

Clemency won, only because Tartarus doesn't know what it means - plus there was the MotoGP to be watching on the Telly. And an escaloped hamster would also take quite a lot of cleaning up. Plus he is still trying to get into my good books viz a viz the Flight Debacle.

What else has happened?  Not much - Tartarus has now spent two days, cleaning the house around me like Aggie and Kim re-incarnated into the one grumpy male body.  I'm just ignoring him.

Never mind, it's only six weeks until he goes away again.....


  1. Hamsters are destructive little bugger.
    My parents' last budgie did something similar to the wall paper.
    Glad your man got safe home eventually.

  2. I'm glad Tartarus is safe and doing his bit. I think six weeks of housework is the very least he should do after his naughty antics!
    Nice to see Sonshine after reading his hilarious words. He's a handsome chap, isn't he?

  3. Are you trying to cause an International Diplomatic Incident ?? LOL

  4. Bloody rodents. I still remember the carnage the time my brother's chinchilla escaped - he managed to eat through the cables of the Playstation, dvd player and tv before we caught him.

  5. So he had a little drinkie and forgot to phone. Is it that big a deal?

    He was probably severely epressed because of the Gay Navy making him miss you for another 24 hours, and alcohol, as everyone knows is a great antidote for depression.

    He just missed you, is that a crime?

    As regards hamsters, I recommend a blender then a toilet flush.

    Alternatively, plug a couple of wires into the mains electricity, then dangle them down in fron of the rodent's cage.
    If it cannot control its urge to bite and gnaw, 240 volts will make for a merry sight in the morning.

    Don't forget to fit a fuse, electrical fires can be so alarming.

  6. Well done Sonshine for bagging the art prize - am impressed he has not shied away from the use of pink for the roof. Why are the pictures wrapped in plastic?? And well done for the cycling (bah, who needs to see under their chin anyway??)

    I was wondering if Mexican customs were going to insist you had Tartarus back. It goes without saying there will be no criticism of the state of the kitchen bin given the need to get into your good books ;)

  7. I'm surprised he mentioned the rolling pin as that might have given you other ideas for escaloping, as if you didn't already harbor those thoughts.

  8. I think as punishment Tartarus should keep on cleaning the house (Aggie & Kim style) till he goes away again - and pay the £175 for the school trip. Well, done Sonshine, nice artwork.

  9. Sonshine-What a sweetheart.
    But,how dare you compare one of my own (Jimmy)to an Afghan hound??May I suggest Stacey Solomon instead as a more worthy alternative??

  10. Dear Alison, I truly think that one's husbands expect that if they know something, ie they are safe, sound and as pissed as a newt, that you would know this by the simple process of telepathy, being as you are, joined at the hip. Do enjoy the Moral High Ground - I would simply lift my feet inconcernedly as he hoovers under them. Well done to Sonshine - never was a boy better named. Lindaxxx

  11. Naughty man! I don't think he'll forget to let you know his movements again :) When he's finished your cleaning volunteer his services on the school trip LOL!

    Sonshine is a treasure and his picture is indeed pretty good, but the hamster artwork on your pretty curtains is worthy of the Turner prize!

  12. I have too many thoguhts to process, so here goes.

    Glad he is not dead - you are actually fond of him, and also, funerals are a bit of an annoying business.

    Sonshine's are is lovely! He doesn't look chuffed though!

    £175 is a small price to pay for 5 days of peace, no?

    All hail Moto GP, saviour of rodents!

  13. I say let the man clean after that no-phone-faux-pas....in fact give him something to clean up.....I hate the no-phone-zone and you can never get them back cos they don't even know when you haven't called them cos they're usually doing something they shouldn't be anyway!!!x

  14. Oops, sorry, I forgot to congratulate Sonshine about his success in his art.
    Be careful.
    My lovely daughter won a Fife-wide contest for drawings of old St. Andrews, and the bloody council appropriated her artwork and we never saw it again.
    Her reward?
    Bugger all; not even a letter of acknowledgement.
    Hate local politicians.
    Have you notice how similar Shonshine's appearance is getting to Tartarus?
    Does he speak Mexican yet?

  15. Dear Ali, I've missed you!

    I'm so glad he's home safely.

    As I always tell The Actor, or any boyfriend for that matter, there is never EVER an excuse for not phoning. Unless you're in the desert.

    Very well done to Sonshine!

    And at least the house is getting a proper sort out!

    Much love, C xx

    PS. if the comment doesn't work just click on it again and it usually does xx


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