Nor have I managed to wangle myself one of these:
I have no idea, I just googled 'hot brazilian men' and up he popped.
One can dream.
No, the Brazilian that I have finally got for myself is a BRAZILIAN BLOWDRY!!!!
Tartarus was initially concerned that I was going to come home from the hairdressers with a 1" wide strip of hair down the middle of my skull. *sigh* MEN *shrugs*.
A Brazilian Blowdry involved sitting in the hairdressers for FOUR hours while a lovely Russian girl painstakingly painted my hair with keratin stuff and straightened it until it was straighter than a New England clergyman's soul.
I was then tasked with keeping my hair straight for the next four days - no hairbands, no tucking it behind my ears. Nothing.
For the next four days I remained indoors, keeping away from rain, wind and anything that might cause my hair to kink in rebellion. I looked like a ghost. But one with swooshy hair!!!!
Tuesday morning, I returned to the hairdressers to have it all washed off. The Russian girl didn't say much and I suspected that my coarse, kinked hair may have been too much for the treatment. 'Is it curly?' I whispered. 'A bit.' she whispered back.
And secretly, in the heart of myself, I rejoiced that my hair would not be beaten by chemicals and hung onto its sense of myself for grim death.
I eventually looked at myself in the mirror. Well, it was curly, but it wasn't my usual CURLY.
And then she dried it with her fingers - a technique guaranteed to send me into cotton wool puff hair hell......and lo, it stayed normal looking. I was encouraged.
The hairdresser then flicked her straighteners over me. It went poker straight in minutes. From entering the salon, washing/conditioning, drying and straightening - 45 minutes. A world record for me!
Since then, I have barely had to draw my own straighteners through it and we're now at Sunday and it looks like this:
I should have brushed it before the photo, but you get the idea.
It's not poker straight, but I don't want it poker straight. I want it to look natural and slightly waved. The condition of my hair is lovely and I cannot tell you how delighted I am to have swooshy hair with minimal work from myself. It is definitely something to consider if you're going a holiday and don't want to humph loads of hair stuff with you - maybe for the party season too!
But the moment of truth will be when I wash and dry it myself! Watch this space!