Hestia the highs and lows of caravanning.

As a child, one of my favourite books was Mr Galiano's Circus by Enid Blyton.  Since then Hestia has had inexplicable urge to own a caravan and pretend she is travelling gypsy fortune-teller.  Last weekend did next best thing and took family in our new (ie new to us) caravan a massive 50 miles to Inverary.  Here's the edited high/lowlights

HIGH - Towing caravan down Argyll's narrow roads nowhere nearly as stressful as being one of the cars trying to overtake said caravan.


HIGH Campsite at Inverary lovely and clean with sensible rules about not starting up your engine or singing bawdy songs between the hours of 11pm and 8am.  I am poured into bed at 11pm singing Poker Face into hairbrush.

HIGH - I remembered all the food, including tin opener, sharp knife and DS charger.

LOW - I forgot to pack any knickers or socks for Sonshine.

HIGH - Sonshine gets to wear same knickers and socks for 3 days straight.  They had to be chipped off when we got home.

HIGH - The rain went off at about 8pm on Friday night.

LOW -  As soon as the rain went off, midges with teeth like dyer's clogs materialised in hordes.

HIGH - Prayers for return of rain (ie demise of midges)  mercifully heard by other Olympian gods.

HIGH - nice and toasty in bed because we were basically sleeping 3 in a room.

LOW - being woken several times by various bodily emission noises from my sleeping companions during the night.

HIGH - Inverary Castle Gardens are beautiful - loads of blowsy rhododendrons laid out in clashing colours, like a vegetation version of Hindu Wedding and with the most gorgeous HUGE magnolia.  I covet magnolias with a physical ache.

LOW - Friend's daughter getting into strop due to sugar low in Inverary Castle Tearoom.

HIGH - the fabulous tray-bakes that we all HAD to buy so that she could get over her sugar low.

LOW - Shopping for a sink plug and frying pan in Inverary at 4pm in pissing rain.

HIGH - Discovering that George Hotel had free music festival on

LOW - realising that the owner of hardware shop closed at 3.45pm to attend free music festival.

LOW - Hubby and friend's hubby deciding to visit the on-site 'restaurant' (ie bar) to check it out for a quick drink that lasted over 2 hours while she and I were left with two children who were starving hungry and about to go to war over differing interpretations of Pick Up Stix rules.

HIGH - eating chili olives and vegetable crisps whilst waiting for Men to Light BBQ.

LOW - not having lighter fuel to start the bbq

HIGH - realising that a blow torch (discovered in boot of car) will light a bbq in spectacular fashion.

LOW - realising that our portapongo loo was out of bounds for 'solids' as chili olives take effect.

HIGH - the weather being absolutely brilliant on Sunday.

LOW - suddenly realising that the kids did NOT have a day off school on Monday and having to pack up to go home instead.

LOW - friend's hubby leaving the handbrake on caravan and causing huge clouds of smoke and burning rubber smell for 4 miles.  FOUR MILES!!!!!

HIGH - spectacular display of burning caravan wheels for 4 miles!

LOW - coming back home.

HIGH - getting to sleep in own bed and thereby getting rid of ancient huddled crab-woman pose I'd developed after sleeping in caravan.

Conclusion:  Yes!  We'll be doing that again just as soon as we can!!!

Caravan cartoon source