|This was us. Not.|
My fit friend Irma had just signed up for a new exercise class. We talked about it and lo, it came to pass that I too thought that the new power hooping class would also be A Good Idea.
Not one to do things alone, I bribed my Day Carer to come along with me. We opted to go on the Thursday morning, with Irma going to the Friday evening session to fit in with her work. As the two of us climbed the stairs in the Pavilion before 10am last Thursday morning, we realised that we hadn't done an exercise class for at least a decade.
'It's a hula hoop,' I reminded us both.' How hard can it be?'
If your recollection of a hula hoop is a dayglo yellow affair that you could effortlessly spin for hours and hours whilst discussing the merits of David Cassidy over Donny Osmond, then you're about as deluded as us.
The POWER hoops resembled large steering wheels - albeit multi-coloured ones - but with those ridges that steering wheels have that stop your sweaty hands from sending you spinning your car into a ditch. It looked a bit like LEGO. Albeit masochistic LEGO.
'What weight of hoop would you like?' asked the impossibly tall, impossibly slender, impossibly fit, teacher.
'What difference does it make?' we replied warily.
'The heavier the hoop, the easier it is to spin...' said the teacher. We moved towards the heavy hoops.
'....but,' she added, 'they might give you bruising on your stomach. Some of the girls have reported bruising.'
We moved away from the heavy hoops and alighted on the 3lb hoops.
'And gloves,' said the teacher ,' You'll need these gloves.'
We pulled on weighted gloves - again the lightest ones we could find.
The music started and we all moved off to take our places.
'....and just do what you can with the Boxercise Exercises!' she called after us as The Black Eyed Peas boomed their way into life behind us.
BOXERCISE? Nobody had mentioned anything about Boxercise.....
Reader, as the exercises commenced, I became too afraid to meet the Day Carer's increasingly furious gaze, but believe me I could feel the daggers in my back.
'You never mentioned anything about bloody sit ups and press ups,' she hissed as we lay like a couple of bull seals on our mats, unable to haul ourselves onto our elbows and into the required Plank position.
'I didn't know,' I wailed pathetically as we roused ourselves to do more bloody star jumps.
'I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You, she panted as we jabbed and upper-cutted our way to a partial stroke.
'You. Can't. Kill. me. Before. I. Kill. Irma.' I panted back.
After a very, VERY long hour, with the Day Carer reduced to a puddle of sweat and me in not much better state, we decided that we would come every week, because, despite the agony, we HAD enjoyed it.
And we celebrated our new-found fitness regime with what else, a cup of restorative coffee and a cake?
Sounds great! especially the well deserved coffee and cake :DReplyDelete
If I were rewriting The Inferno, I must admit I'd have to put organised exercise in one of the inner circles of hell.ReplyDelete
looby - I totally agree, deffo Inner Cirle ;-)ReplyDelete
Emma - 'twas only a SMALL cake....
sounds like fun! have you ever tried zumba? it is a blast! my first time the only thing that kept me going was seeing the *very* fluffy co-exercisers keep going, and i figgered, if they can do it, i HAS to do it!ReplyDelete
well done, ladies!
who invents this stuff ? LOLReplyDelete
I'm glad you both had so much fun. I'm not too sure about the hoop bit, but Boxercise sounds like good self-defense exercises for teachers.ReplyDelete
Does Tartarus know you've gone hoopy?
TSB - I think Tartarus knows that U've always been a wee bit hoopy.ReplyDelete
Viv - sadists, that's who.
Polish Chick - not tried it yet. Have odd feelings about zumba since my mother bought me a zumba DVD as a gift when my gallbladder was removed. Yeah, when you're walking about like a half-shut knife, you want to be trying to reggieton (not!). But will probably give it a go as there is a class here!
I must just be a freak - that sounds like SO much fun to me ;D However, years of enjoying aerobics classes, videos (yes, VHS videos) and DVD's have left me with chronic shin splints. Another case of being theoretically fit and healthy not living up to expectations :( Still, in moderation I'm sure Zumba and Power Hooping are excellent as well as fun!ReplyDelete
Sounds like fun - glad you enjoyed it (also enjoyed the description)ReplyDelete
Hahaha, sounds like fun, if you are a masochist, that is!ReplyDelete
I'm such a sloth, I used to exercise but do nothing now. Fancy zumba, but like sitting on my arse even more.
"TSB - I think Tartarus knows that U've always been a wee bit hoopy."ReplyDelete
I don't want to appear sensitive, but it's a bit insulting when a bloke I've never met calls me hoopy.
My fault TSB - that should have been an 'I've' and not a 'U've' lol!ReplyDelete
Past caring - let's start zumba!!!!
Siobhan - ta!
Inner Whispers - next to Emma S-B you're the fittest person that I know.
My problem with exercise is that I usually quit when it gets painful, which is usually about 3 seconds into whatever it is. I probably need one of those hoops with excavator buckets on the inside to remove some of the excess.ReplyDelete