|10 of Swords|
Rider Waite Smith Tarot
Published by US Games Systems
Yes, am available for readings :-)
It may come as a surprise to you, reader, to know that not everything is CONSTANTLY rosy here in the Home of The Gods. Tartarus can be....tricky..... and I can revert to teenager mode at the drop of a hat. Or hormone. And you've seen what Sonshine is capable of.
Anyway, I thought I'd see what I could do to improve things between us and bought a couple of books on Making Your Relationship Work. The first one is The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work.
According to my bookshelves, I'm VERY keen on anything that touts 'Seven...anything' - Habits of Successful People, Successful Ways to Rear a Boy, Brides for Seven Brothers....oh yes, I've got 'em all.
Anyway, I started reading it on Friday morning and by Friday evening, I came to the realisation that our relationship was doomed: My arguments involved 'harsh start-ups' and a lot of criticism and slagging off. I resolve immediately to Change.
'One of the principles we have discovered that can make your marriage work,' intoned the book 'is that when you feel like stabbing your other half to death, you conjure up memories of why you loved him in the first place.' Clearly, I'm paraphrasing. My OWNrelationship counselling book will be called 'Seven Ways To Stop Stabbing Your Husband To Death.' It will be on the New York Times Best-seller list for EVER. I will probably write it when I am banged-up for Tartarus's demise.
Draw up a chair, dear Reader, this tale takes some time.
We are in Glasgow. We have a child-free evening ahead of us. We are overnighting in a hotel. We are theatre-bound. It's going to be fun.
We are sitting, propped up on the bed, cups of tea in hand, watching the endless sport loop on the hotel TV.
'You know when I feel like stabbing you to death?' I venture. It's no secret. He knows it.
'Well, apparently if I can conjure up some warm-fuzzy feelings from nice things that you've done in the past, our relationship won't end in a messy break up. Or the High Court. So, I've been thinking of some of the lovely things that you've done for me, and for other people, and it has stopped me from wanting to kill you at least once already.'
'So, what warm-fuzzies would you be able to dredge up for me, for when YOU want to stab ME to death,' I sip on my hot tea and stare at him expectantly.
'I never feel like stabbing you to death though,' he countered.
'Well, getting on your bike and buggering off somewhere on your own then.' Sip. Silence.
'Anything at all will do.....' I add hopefully.
'Can't you think of anything? Not one nice redeeming thought about me?'
'Erm. No. I hate these things. I hate it when you ask me questions,' he sighs.
'So, we've known each other since we were 16 years old. And you can't think of ONE nice thing? In 30 years?!'
He shuffles uncomfortably on the duvet.
I sip my tea and silently seethe. Can reading a relationship book actually PROMPT divorce proceedings?
** Note: It is now Wednesday and I have asked him EVERY day. He still cannot think of anything redeeming. Oh - I lie. He suggested that me making him a cup of tea in the morning would do the trick. ** Not for me it won't.