Hestia...tries on-line ordering

I decided that I was having a Kitchenaid Mixer.

<-    This one, in fact.

OK, so I hardly ever bake, and yes, my last foray into baking resulted in a bout of gallstone pain that resulted in some rash promises to God if he would just let me survive long enough to get to the bloody doctors.  But also a lovely cake.

Hestia has a night out....in numbers

Not me.  Not this time anyway

0 - Percentage of me that felt like going up to Glasgow for a night out.....what with gallstones, back ache and a touch of thrush.

2 - number of queen-sized beds in our upgraded Mariott room.

50% cheered up at that point - the thought of lowering my back into a massive comfy bed with acres of cool cotton pillows where I could writhe in agony all night without disturbing Tartarus brightened the remainder of my Saturday no end.

100 - number of times I begged Tartarus to buy me a bright red KitchenAid mixer from John Lewis.

Hestia is...one year old

M'blog is one year old!

A heart-felt thank you to anyone who reads my postings - from my splenetic neighbour rage re bins and fly-tipping to the mixed joys of sharing one's life with a little ray of Sonshine and Tartarus, a creature from the darkest pit of hell, or Airdrie as it is sometimes referred.

Thank you for taking the time to post comments. They make my day and often make me pee myself laughing (see: loose pelvic floor) or snort a spatter of cornflakes onto the monitor.

Tartarus asked me a while back: 'Why do you bother with blogging?' 


My response was: 'Well, it it was either this or get a gun.

I still might get the gun.

But why DO I bother with blogging? 

I love to read other people's blogs.  There are blogs that give me a peek into lives that are so far removed from mine we might as well be living on different planets; there are blogs that make me laugh out loud or snivel into my dressing-gown sleeves. 

But mostly, other people's blogs reassure me that I'm not the only weirdo out here in charge of a child and car keys.

Here's to another12 months of  being quite disgraceful together *clinks champagne flutes with m'reader*


  

Hestia is..fit for the knackers' yard

A few days ago, I thought that it would be nice to use a special scented deodorant thing Down There in the vain hope that Tartarus might be attracted by the scent in much the same way as a fruit bat is attracted to old bananas.

I applied it and... it felt a bit tingly.  At first I thought that it was Good Tingly, but within about 10 minutes I realised that it was Not Good Tingly and had to rush to the shower to get it off.

Hestia...takes her revenge

A Tartarus with a sore head

Tartarus has been buzzing around the house like a bear with a sore head.

OK so I have mixed my metaphors, but if you can imagine a large, grumpy black bear with wings and a spanner, you've pretty much got the full picture.

Hestia does...Comic Relief

Friday was Red Nose Day, where we were encouraged to do something for money to raise funds for charitable projects at home and abroad.  Sonshine went to school dressed as Elvis and I pulled on my big gypsy skirt and hoop earrings and did Tarot readings via e-mail and facebook.

Tartarus, of course, did nothing.

He's worked in the ports of many an African country and he is not swayed by pictures of fly-flecked children with distended bellies, nor bereaved mothers weeping over tiny coffins.

Hestia and....Tartarus (again)

Evidence of Hestia's last minute tidy up 

As far as I can remember, Tartarus has come home on a Friday from Mexico.  Sometimes, depending on whatever weather or security problems have arisen en route, it is Saturday morning before we see him.

I had decided to prepared for his arrival by looking a bit more organised.  So, I secured myself a wash, blow-dry and straightening session with Angela so that I looked fairly presentable for his arrival.  I organised it for Friday.

Trouble was, he came home on Thursday.

Hestia and ......the butterfly effect

The Great Wave......

Tartarus is coming home soon and the house is like Beirut, minus the cracked plasterwork burned out cars.  I have been beavering away here, doing that parTICularly tricky sort of cleaning that looks just good enough to pass for How Tidy The House Has Been  All The Time In Your Absence, but not SO good that he rumbles that I've been up until 3am trying to knock the place into shape.

Hestias life...... in perfume

Excellent drain cleaner

I was tidying out the bathroom cabinet (yes, Tartarus* is home in 2 days time.  Yes, I have been spelling his pseudonym blog name wrong now for nearly a year and must rectify the situation immediately).  I uncovered a load of perfume bottles and wondered what they might say about me:

Here is my life in perfume:

The first ever bottle that I owned was in the late 60s when my gran died.  As my mum and dad cleared out her house, I was handed a tiny dark blue bottle - Evening in Paris.  It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, tiny and ultra-sophisticated. I was also handed a black moleskin jotter, with an elastic band round it - for my endless writing. As the house was emptied round about me, I picked up a pencil and began my novel:  About the ghost of a motorcyclist that haunts the heroine and they fall in love.

I think I must have been watching The Ghost and Mrs Miniver or something.  I never made it past the second page of my new moleskin lined book with that book.  A dangerous writing precedent was thus set.  Today I could write a novel called: 'My Greatest Starts To a Novel'.

Hestia's..... got gallstones. Yippee.

Hestia and her gallstone

Yep, it's official, the doctor gave me a telephone consultation yesterday and confirmed what I'd suspected as I stood leaning over the bathroom sink for five hours begging God to let me LIVE; I've got gallstones.

A couple of real beauties by the sounds of things.

Now I get to meet a surgeon and discuss the ins and outs - mainly outs - of gall bladder removal.

Hestia...does The Flavour Thesaurus

The Flavour Thesaurus
Niki Segnit
Bloomsbury  ISBN 978-0-07475-9977-7

Also available for virtual book-worms on Kindle

If you’ve ever stood in the kitchen, poised over a bubbling pan of food, a jar of spice in one hand and a frond of dried herb in the other and not had a clue whether you were going to poison your dinner guests by adding either of them to the mix, then this book is for you.

Hopefully that's not just me.